Tuesday, January 30, 2007

because most of you don't know me in real life

The last thirty minutes has been rather rushed. I have a weekly Tuesday meeting at 11 and I had to stop in to visit the potty beforehand AND go print something off in the computer lab before the meeting then drop it off in my supervisor's mailbox on the OTHER side of the hospital then rush to the meeting. I have an irresistable addiction to an evergrowing list of internet sites that I ABSOLUTELYMUSTVISITEVERYTIMEIAMANYWHERENEARACOMPUTER-the obsession is maddening, so of course I feed it every chance I get. This is why I do not have high speed at my house. I fed the addiction and then realized I was running a wee bit late.

As I mentioned I've been dieting. The particular black pants I'm wearing today used to be kind of loose. A woman I worked with always felt the need to come over and yank them up when I was leaning over to write something...apparently my big girl panties were showing...this is why I don't often wear a thong to work...I did start to always wear black underwear with them though so no one would notice. Only recently I noticed they weren't showing so much, what had once been to big was now just the right size. This was perhaps the result of washing and drying them myself, but maybe also partly the result of my love for all things carbohydrate.

As I rushed down the handicap ramp, everyone needs a little fun in their life, I reached back to inspect what I was bearing to the world...the pants are getting a bit looser again (I'm still convinced they have at least shrunk some...it's not all me...it's really not)..anyway when I reached back I felt something abrasive...what could this be? Perhaps my tag was sticking out, but no, it was much larger than that. As I reached around, it continued to go on and on for what seemed like forever when it dawned on me...OHMYGOD...this is toilet paper!!!!!!! Apparently, when I had pulled up my britches from the previous visit to the potty, I had also pulled up the toilet paper lining the seat and created a new fashion statement--the White Cloud tail...like a bustle for your everyday wear.

I quickly shoved the bustle further into my pants, making my booty look just a little more supple, and rushed toward the door. What else was I going to do? If I pulled it out someone might see.

When I reached the exit, in an instant, I flashed back to the moment when I walked into the library and made eye contact with the doctor who runs the 11:00 meeting. He gave me kind of a strange look...I thought it was one of those, I know you, but you're not where I usually see you, so you cannot possibly be the same person faces, but now I think he may have been reacting to the bustle. I suddenly remembered one more thing I could not possibly put off, I did make a promise you my loyal readers after all, and I cannot possibly attend the 11:00 team meeting.

yeah, yeah, yeah...I know..I know

Do you remember the part of my new years resolution post where I mentioned that sometimes I got behind on the book reading and I'd read two books the next month? Cut me some slack. I'm busy, and stressed, and getting married soon. I'm a little overwhelmed right now. Now, can we move on to another subject?

I've been dieting. 3 weeks now. I've lost 7 pounds. Yesterday I started the exercise routine. Slow and steady wins the race.

the end.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

ooh ooh I've got a crush on you.

I have the best boyfriend. I've written about him before. He's cute, but not in a way that's intimidating, he's kind, pretty smart, and always keeps me laughing.
He's surprised me twice recently. I haven't been to the movies in forever. I went to see The Holiday on New Year's weekend in Greensboro. I had bought several cheap movie coupons from work and had to use them by the end of the year, but that plan was foiled when I got into the movie for free because the heat was broken. The movie was good enough...though I struggled to maintain my disdain for Jude Law as scummy as he is because he's so cute and charming in this movie and he's a good dad to boot! Anyway, I was sitting there minding my own business, feeling sorry for old Cam and her recent break up (little did I know poor Cam was going through boy troubles in her real life too) while watching her drown her sorrows by plunging herself into her work, when he showed up. My sweet Jim.
Last weekend I visited mom in Charlotte and we decided to go to Phillips place to see Dreamgirls. As I found myself swept away by the musical stylings of Jennifer, Beyonce, Eddie, and Jamie, he caught me off guard once again and there he was, smiling down at me.
He's been doing this a lot lately, my boyfriend. He surprised me about a month ago while I was watching Jarhead. Our surprise visits are never for very long. Like many girlfriends, I get a little jealous when other girls have their eyes on him, so I appreciate having him to myself most of the time. I don't need him out on the town parading his body and his good will toward men like Brad. But, it is nice to show him off every once in a while. Thanks, Jim, for always making me smile. I'll see you Thursday.

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Friday, January 05, 2007

A new year=a new me.

Wake Forest University always has a year of something, like the year of science, or the year of religion, or the year of conservative rich kids. For me, this is the year of the blog. I could do something heavier, but really, why would I do that? Life is already stressful enough what with The Office, The OC, and Grey's Anatomy all coming on in virtually the same time slot. So, I'm dedicating this year to you, my loyal reader, yes, I mean you random friend who found me today, if that means you'll keep reading and respond sometimes (but only if you're nice--you'll notice no ads, I'm not getting paid for my genius.)

I'm pretty good at New Year's resolutions, well really I'm pretty good at guilt, so I follow the resolution, so I don't feel guilty. I'm awesome at Lent, 40 days I can handle-and I don't skip weekends!, but the year is a little more tough. Last year was Weight Watchers, and I did a good job until April and a bachelorette party where my "friends" chided me for counting points in a brownie and I never counted again--I'm also good at peer pressure. The most successful I've been with the NYR is when I committed to reading one book a month. I know it's not that hard, but you should see my schedule, and my netflix queue. I started with The Red Tent, which was good, but not a good first choice, because it was long and detailed and I didn't think of my brilliant idea til the end of the month. I probably should have gone with People that first month, but I read it into February and then picked up another before the 28th. I was sucessful all year, sometimes I read more, but I don't like to brag about my readin' skills.

So, this year I vow to blog once a week. I don't want to overshoot and let us all down, so I'm starting modestly. My counselor says you should vow to do anything you can't accomplish in one day. So, if you want to lose weight you should vow to eat healthy each day. So, I'll vow to procrastinate every day until the day when I don't and then I'll write. Problem solved.

Since this is a weekly blog, and I'm still torn up over the demise of The OC and can't think straight. I think this week, I'll just talk about the first week of the rest of my life.

I accomplished three big things this week.

1-I got my Association of Professional Chaplains application in the mail today. I made the lady stamp it in front of me to make sure she didn't pull a fast one and change the post mark so they tossed it. The thing was massive...41 pages single spaced of my own writing, duplicated, so 82 pages, plus another 30 or so pages of recommedations and evaluations of my work along with other forms, also duplicated, making a grand total of 140 or so pages of paperwork, and a fat check. Now, I just have to survive the interview this summer and pray it's not while I'm on the honeymoon.

2-After interviewing 5 photographers and reviewing pages and pages and pages of not quite right, I FINALLY booked my wedding photographer. It was a New Years miracle that mom had a friend of a friend who knew of this woman who doesn't advertise-she only works by referral, but does FAB and Beautiful work and all for a decent price--for the QC. You should check her out www.elissaqueen.com. Is it wrong that I'm secretly, or not so secretly since I just posted it on the internet, hoping that she'll put me on her website (see above-Jessica Simpson workout)

3-I kind of wanted to put number 3 as number one, because it's that cool to me, but that would make me sound vain. I bought my first designer purse. It's not a really fancy one like an LV or Prada, just a coach, but it's lovely. My grandmother always manages to get me the world's most heinous birthday gifts, so just to spite her I bought myself something amazing with her Christmas check. The prices weren't as low as I thought, I trusted my soon to be cousin inlaw and hoped to get a larger bag for what I paid, but my bag was marked down because of the outlet, then on clearance, then on sale. It's a small suede mocha colored bag and I LOVE IT. I couldn't decide at first, was it worth the price? But, when I put it on my shoulder I felt so important. It made me want to trapse my fat booty all over the ritzy mall in Charlotte. So, I bought it! This is by far the most exciting piece of 2007 so far. It makes me feel fabulous. If I'd known that money could buy you happiness, I would have splurged on myself a long time ago. Curses to you, LIARS!