Thursday, December 18, 2008

I'm convinced

that there is a bug living in my nose. I've had a tickle in it for a couple of days now. It only acts up sometimes, but it is seriously intense and there is no stopping it once it starts. I've tried blowing it...HARD. No luck. That sucker it deep. It's right between m nose and my brain. It really is. I haven't had an x-ray, but I can tell.

I'm not ashamed to say that I have tried shoving my finger up there as far as it will go (in private, of course). What?! What else am I going to do? It is driving me CRAZY! It is so intense, I almost can't stand it. The worst part is, every time it flares up, I keep thinking of all of those horrible stories about people who have some kind of bug crawl in their ears and then the bug gives birth. Any minute now, I'm certain a swarm of insects is going to come from my nose in a Green Mile kind of moment.

I wonder if this paranoia has to do with the disgusting pictures of moth larvae living corrugated boxes that we have had displayed all over work this week?

We have since stopped keeping all of our food and medical supplies in said corrugated boxes. However, my nightmare, and my tickle, continues.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

mr mom

I'm sure you heard about the pregnant man, Thomas Beatie. His story has been pretty controversial. I personally don't have a problem with it, although this picture is a little disgusting to me...mostly because it looks like a giant beer belly.

Freddie and I were watching a show about him on Discovery Health. He was talking about how upset people have been since his Oprah interview. Apparently they get hate calls all of the time. He was sort of surprised though because said that most men he knew stated that if they could have a baby in their wife's place, they would.

That inspired the following conversation.

me: "If I couldn't get pregnant and you could, would you do it in my place?"

fred: "No"

That's it. No. No explanations, no apologies, no pretending, just no. Seriously? It's not even possible. That guy was born a woman, he wasn't. It's not going to happen. I'm never going to recall this moment and tap you in. You can't even pretend that you'd do it for me? No.

In that case. I am NEVER mowing the lawn.

the right stuff

(Oh Gosh! I never posted this!)
On Thursday night, I headed down to Charlotte to meet my oldest girlfriends for a hot date. We met up with 5 guys we have been in love with for about 20 years now and a good time was definitely had by all.

Here are a few shots of the evening.

We gathered with two other friends for dinner at Brixx before the performance and practiced our dance moves. Remember this one?

We were very excited to see our boys on the marquis.

Not at all impressed with the opening acts, a very white girl with a Jamaican accent whose back up dancers looked like crack whores and Lady Gaga, so we took the opportunity to take a few snapshots and tried our luck at winning front row seats by texting the big screen. We really had a good time thinking of what to write.


It was an amazing show. They sang a few of the new songs, which I didn't really know, and rocked out almost all of their most popular old songs. They danced, they thrusted and we swooned. We had awesome seats for most of the show and then they moved to a second stage that was right in front of us. I took a horrible shot so that you could see how close we were.

At the end the whole crowd had their hands swaying to Hangin' Tough. It was totally rad.

lawn mower

Back when Freddie was recovering from his broken leg and we had just gotten our dog, we were taking a little stroll around our neighborhood. We observed several folks doing the last lawn mowing of the season and Freddie stated that our lawn probably needed to be cut one more time. He was still on a cane and not quite capable. His uncle had kindly sent over his yard man, but we were uncertain if he'd be coming back. I suggested that we call his 11 year old cousin who loves to mow the lawn and told us he'd do it for $3 because we were family and "needed the money more than he did." (What must he think of us?) Fred suggested that I just do it.

I have never mown a lawn in my life. When I was little, I wanted to, but we lived in an apartment and my grandpa wouldn't let me mow theirs. He said it was too dangerous and that a rock could pop up and hit me in the face. I'm a little older now and perhaps more careful, but then what would I use when I play the I've Never Game?

Fred maintains that this is silly reasoning and for some reason, insists that I really should mow the lawn from time to time. On that particular day, he was pretty put out by my suggestion of paying someone else to do it. (For the record, I did plan to give Alex more than his requested three dollars.)

him-"Why don't you just do it yourself?"

me-"You know. I don't mow the lawn."

him-"because it's not safe? because you need it for I've never? That's silly. Our grass needs to be cut and you can do it and you're not willing to?"

me-"No, but I'm willing to pay someone. It's not that much. It's probably the last time of the season. I don't see why it's a big deal."

him-"I just don't see why you won't do it. Why am I always going to have to be the one to mow it?"

me-"I'll have the babies."

him-"What?! I don't even have a choice about that! That doesn't count."

me-"If we have three children and I carry them each for at least nine months, then I think that will easily cover the number of hours you'll spend mowing our yard. And I'm willing to give you some outs. I don't care if you hire someone."

This argument went on and on and occasionally resurfaces. I don't understand why it's a big deal. I'm not going to do it. I'm just not. I'll do other things. In fact, I do most of the laundry and the dishes. Not because we're conventional like that, just because it bothers me before it occurs to him to address it. For some reason it still drives him crazy.

Are there things you just won't do? (PS-my other thing is digging soggy food out of the kitchen sink. The thought of touching that stuff makes me want to vomit. I will, however, remove hair from the shower drain.)

Thursday, December 04, 2008

working men

My husband is the operations manager for a Tibetan Wool Rug Importer. They make beautiful hand woven wool and silk rugs. Their main office is in Baltimore, but all of the beautiful rugs are in High Point, NC. Fred has two guys that work for him regularly, but recently my work new work schedule has thrown all of our schedules out of whack and he's had to call in some reinforcements.

The problem is, the new guy is a total goof off.