Saturday, December 06, 2008

lawn mower

Back when Freddie was recovering from his broken leg and we had just gotten our dog, we were taking a little stroll around our neighborhood. We observed several folks doing the last lawn mowing of the season and Freddie stated that our lawn probably needed to be cut one more time. He was still on a cane and not quite capable. His uncle had kindly sent over his yard man, but we were uncertain if he'd be coming back. I suggested that we call his 11 year old cousin who loves to mow the lawn and told us he'd do it for $3 because we were family and "needed the money more than he did." (What must he think of us?) Fred suggested that I just do it.

I have never mown a lawn in my life. When I was little, I wanted to, but we lived in an apartment and my grandpa wouldn't let me mow theirs. He said it was too dangerous and that a rock could pop up and hit me in the face. I'm a little older now and perhaps more careful, but then what would I use when I play the I've Never Game?

Fred maintains that this is silly reasoning and for some reason, insists that I really should mow the lawn from time to time. On that particular day, he was pretty put out by my suggestion of paying someone else to do it. (For the record, I did plan to give Alex more than his requested three dollars.)

him-"Why don't you just do it yourself?"

me-"You know. I don't mow the lawn."

him-"because it's not safe? because you need it for I've never? That's silly. Our grass needs to be cut and you can do it and you're not willing to?"

me-"No, but I'm willing to pay someone. It's not that much. It's probably the last time of the season. I don't see why it's a big deal."

him-"I just don't see why you won't do it. Why am I always going to have to be the one to mow it?"

me-"I'll have the babies."

him-"What?! I don't even have a choice about that! That doesn't count."

me-"If we have three children and I carry them each for at least nine months, then I think that will easily cover the number of hours you'll spend mowing our yard. And I'm willing to give you some outs. I don't care if you hire someone."

This argument went on and on and occasionally resurfaces. I don't understand why it's a big deal. I'm not going to do it. I'm just not. I'll do other things. In fact, I do most of the laundry and the dishes. Not because we're conventional like that, just because it bothers me before it occurs to him to address it. For some reason it still drives him crazy.

Are there things you just won't do? (PS-my other thing is digging soggy food out of the kitchen sink. The thought of touching that stuff makes me want to vomit. I will, however, remove hair from the shower drain.)

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