Monday, March 20, 2006


I have a very keen sense of olfaction. I'm serious, it's amazing. I can smell things a mile away. I'm sure right now you're thinking, we must tap into this ability, Amanda must use her powers for good not evil, but hold your horses, like any superhero, I too have my weakness. Superman's weakness is Kryptonite, mine is hot nuts. No, not those kind of nuts. The kind they sell in the that little kiosk.(*see footnote) Those nuts kill me. To some they may indicate a sweet treat awaits them in the center of the aisle, but they attack my nose and immediately send convulsions to my stomach. I literally had to throw up after I left the mall one time because of those nuts, and a stomach bug too probably, but those nuts definitely sent me over the edge and they never touched my lips.
I can smell things from miles away. Sometimes I'll be walking to my car and I'll find myself paralyzed by a particular odor. I heard on NPR recently that women associate more memories with smell than men. So many times I'll smell the air and think it smells like Indiana, I'm not sure what it is, but it does. Last weekend, I was walking to my car from my mom's house and the beginning smells of spring reminded me of a day when I was twelve years old (this was a really nice thing because usually the smell of crape myrtle's and freesia will just about put me in bed for the rest of the day.)
For some reason, right now the computer lab in the library smells like lasagne, and I'm starving. Every so often, outside of the library, it smells like a hair salon. I still haven't figured that out, I hope they're not testing my aveda products on some monkey downstairs, but it did remind me that I'm 5 months overdue to get my hair cut. (My appointment is on Thursday.)
My mom went to a wedding for one of her clients at work that must have had the same problem as me as the invitation indicated that odors were prohibited from the wedding. The poor girl had to turn away her perfumed guests and she had to use fake flowers--unfortunately no one told her that you can actually find them in colors other than orange. Don't make me have to do this for my wedding too. Just so you know...I can't handle perfume either, however, if you are a fine smelling black man, come on in. I hope this doesn't sound racist, but I cannot resist the smell of a black man in cool water.
My college roommate and I were very generous about sharing our microwave, unless you wanted to cook popcorn, then you better take your butt down to the basement. You know that smell does not go away. Last week, one of my colleagues was making popcorn in our office in the Chapel Basement. It made the entire chapel narthex smell like popcorn. I think the grieving folks appreciated that. It's much more fun to feel like you're going to the circus than a funeral.
(*Why has every mall in America taken so kindly to the kiosk by the way, it's just like in middle school when they built a new school and immediately needed trailers, why can't we anticipate our shopping needs from the very beginning. I have a system to maintain, up one side down the other, I can't be bopping back and forth from store to kiosk, I am bound to miss something that way)

1 comment:

emily said...

found you!