an actual conversation

Freddie visited his buddy up the street and told me that he was taking his friend's wife to a movie. I jokingly suggested that they were having an affair and after assuring me that they weren't, he told me that he joked that he had better watch him around me and then we had the following conversation.

Freddie-I knew you wouldn't have to worry about him because he's a smoker, but do you think if he weren't a smoker and he looked like Brad Pitt you would cheat on me with him?

Me-I'm not really that into Brad Pitt. I mean, I can appreciate him, but I don't think I'd date him.

F-....well, or some other actor you're really into.

M-Johnny Depp! Except, I don't think I'd be so into Johnny Depp if we hadn't had such a long history together.

F-What about Matthew Mcconaughey?

M-From what I understand, he's not really into personal hygeine. I think he's kind of stinky in person.

F-Well, what about somebody you really like.

M-Oh, John Krasinski!!

F-Wow, you were excited about that! okay, yeah him.

M-Yeah, you might really have to worry about that.

F-What if we really did live next to John Krasinski and we were friends with him and we hung out all of the time....And, I still got really tired and had to go to bed early and you guys hung out a lot after I went to bed.

M-I think if our marriage was on the line you should try to stay up later.

F-But I don't even know that our marriage is on the line. What can I do?

M-You know, I think we're just going to have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

goodnight sweetheart

Freddie couldn't hang through the Oscars.

He just hugged me good night and said, "See you tomorrow?" With a question. a question.

"You said that like a question? Do we have plans i don't know about. I think I'll be here tomorrow. Unless I leave you. Or I die. If that's the case, get my casket at Costco."

"That's true. That's one thing you taught me while you were here."

I suppose my work here is done then.

and the oscar goes to

a few funny oscar conversations...

#1
Announcer lady "coming up next on the Academy Awards.."

Freddie-"Wait! I thought this was the Oscars!"

#2
Freddie-"I don't understand why all of these movies are up for awards."

Me-"I think they're going for a hopeful theme this year. That's what I heard on NPR"

Freddie-"What kind of hope?"

Me-"You know hope that a kid from the slums can still win Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

Freddie-"Yes, we do have that."

#3
Freddie after seeing He's Just Not That Into You, " I hope that one wins!"

sunday shopping

I was hunting around online for a deal on a TV and found another great deal. The Costco website says that they have thousands more items than you'll find in your local store. Well, that's certainly true.

It turns out that you can actually buy a casket online. They have two categories...one for standard shipping and one for expedited shipping, just in case you didn't plan ahead.

This one is my personal favorite. It seems to be pretty classic, but if you want something a little more flashy, they also have them with messages embroidered inside the lid. One says, "Mother" and has a little flower another one says, "In God's Care." Another is called the Edward, but I can't see what it says inside. Surely it doesn't say Edward because I would think that would really reduce its marketability.



In all seriousness, maybe this isn't such a weird thing. I visited a funeral home with my "death and dying" class in seminary and that place was really scamming people out of some money. I went ahead and gave Freddie the thumb's up to get my casket at Costco, but he informed me that he'd prefer that he die first. He thinks I'm better at dealing with those kinds of things. Well, thanks, but no thanks.

meowza

Apparently dogs had the animal clothing market cornered and cats decided not to take it anymore. It's a bold debut, but I think they could work it out. I just hope the rodents come up with something creative. It's going to be difficult to top this.






Kitty Wigs

I want to be a princess

I've always loved Disney. I know the songs, the stories, the characters, etc. I spent many an elementary and middle school afternoon watching The NEW Mickey Mouse Club on the Disney Channel. Keri Russel, JC Chasez, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, and assorted other random friends who now appear in Lifetime movie and McDonald's commercials were my afternoon companions. I love it!...all of it! I first visited Walt Disney World when I was 16. My mom waited to take me until I was old enough to appreciate it. Some parents may have thought I would be too old, but I am a kid at heart and I ate it up.

Last weekend, my husband and I went to Disney World for Valentine's Day. Magical things happen for us at Disney. We were engaged there in 2006. (yeah, it's cheesy, but I'm a cheesy girl) And, since we're thinking about expanding our family, we thought "why not corrupt the Magic Kingdom?" Okay, so that's not exactly how it went, but that's a story for a different day.

Anyway, while we were there, I was able to get right in front of the new show at Cinderella's Castle. I love the Castle. Love. It. Ever since I saw Princess Diaries, I've had a secret hope that one day I will become a princess and buy Cinderella's Castle. Hey, a girl can dream, right? Why not go big? At the show, i got completely caught up in the whole thing. I was thrilled to be able to see so may of the princesses, and their princes, up close.

At Epcot, I got my picture taken with Belle, Mulan, and Pocahontas, (yes, I still do that!) and I spotted Snow White and Jasmine and I started to think about how long it had been since we got a new princess. I'm not sure who Jiselle is affiliated with, because I do love her and regularly since the Happy Little Working Song in her honor, but I did not spot her at Disney.

Sure enough, today I heard some exciting news. A new princess is on her way and she's an African American. It's about time.

Here's a shot of our new princess in doll form with her human actress counterpart. Princess Tiana is going to be featured in the story of the frog prince and is also going to mark Disney's return to 2D animation. Now we just have to hope that we get some good folks lined up for the music.

eww

Here's a post that will make you vomit.

Or, it's at least a story about how I almost did while I was at work today.

I had to help one of our patients wash her clothes. I let her in the laundry room only to find that someone's stuff was already in the washing machine. I was in a hurry, so I just reached in and pulled it out. About three scoops later, it was all in the dryer. But, as I grabbed the last bit of clothing, I heard a scraping noise like there was a piece of change in the machine.

I reached around and found the culprit.

When I pulled my hand out of the washing machine I discovered not a coin, but a tooth. A TOOTH! A HUMAN TOOTH! In. My. Bare. Hand.

sunday funday

We completed movie number 2 out of our quest to see all five oscar best picture nominees. I should say my oscar film quest because Freddie really has no interest, but is being a very good sport. Tonight, we saw Milk. It was good, but my favorite part was when Freddie really got into it and said "that was good" out loud. He was responding to some quick comeback Harvey Milk had in response to an ignorant jerk, but he was so lost in the movie that he forgot we were not at home and used his outside voice. I got so tickled, I could not stop laughing.

Afterward, we tried to hit up Bill's PIzza Pub. It's supposed to be a local favorite that I just learned about at work on Thursday. No joke, 4 people raved about it and then 3 more said, you've never been?! I hyped it up all weekend, but when we got there, we learned they are closed on Sundays. bummer.
I've been trying to figure out how to juggle my day tomorrow. I have to get my oil changed and my car inspected (it was due in OCTOBER and we're driving to Florida on Thursday.) I also have to order baby shower invitations and make and drop off a meal to a girl from the league who just had a baby. As Freddie and I struggled to figure out how to balance all of these things, I also have to go to the next town over at noon and am just going to stick around since I have another meeting at 5, when he tried to offer me some assistance. I think you're just going to have to skip the meal. What?! I quickly informed him that this was not an option. I committed. It's what you do. They're expecting me!


We headed to the HT to pick up the groceries for the pot pie and I realized it's triple coupon day. Usually the triple coupons only go through Saturdays. I'm sure this is HT's way of only catering to religious coupon cutters. I grabbed two out of the machines and was so excited because I remembered that I still had my house sitting newspaper in the car. I rushed home and clipped away. It was amazing! I ran around that store like I was on a game show. My best deal? Skintimate shave gel. I had a coupon for 50 cents off, which, of course, tripled to $1.50. You know what? They had the stuff on sale for 1.49, so I got it for FREE and got a penny toward something else AND I got the last one...SCORE!

if i only had a brain

My blog is ugly. Everyone else has very cute things on their blog and I have an ugly green blogger template. I don't know how to fix it though. Strike that, i don't know how to fix it without spending money because I'm not really willing to spend any, or rather I'm not willing to spend what it takes. If you want to snazz it up for 20 bucks, I'm your girl, though.

I'm starting to figure out a few bits and pieces of html, but not enough to make this thing attractive. Any hints?

update: Thanks to aquapoppy designs, I have a new blog background! Now, I just need a header.

your mission, should you choose to accept it

Every year when Oscar time comes around, I stay up late. I endure the hours of speeches, dresses, awards for sound, and costumes, and production, and obscure foreign film to see the winners in the Best Actor, Actress, and Film category only to find that the two films I have actually seen will lose. This year, that's not happening.





I'm on a mission. I'm going to see every film on the Best Picture list and I'm working pretty hard to see the films that have a Best Actor or Actress nominee too. Tonight we saw Slum Dog Millionaire. We really enjoyed it. I'm not sure if our friends did, but oh well. I gave them the list of the 5 nominees and that's what they chose. Tomorrow, we're going to see Milk.

I was trying to see three movies this weekend, but Freddie, who isn't as committed to the cause as I am, was only up for 2. However, last night he was trying to convince his friends to come along, so he volunteered to see a movie with me on Sunday to make last night's selection more appealing to the masses. We saw He's Just Not That Into You and his friends didn't actually come. The movie was SO CUTE! I think it was Freddie's first time seeing a major chick flick on opening night. In one particular Judy Blume moment, ALL of the girls in the audience simultaneously said, Awwww, and he was blown away. It was great.

out of the loop

I've been a bad blogger lately. Actually, I think except for the rare occasion, I am always a bad blogger. Oh well. I can't think of anything interesting to share. So, I decided to share something that isn't interesting.

We're housesitting this weekend. Hubby's aunt has a beautiful home and we're playing pretend. We're also keeping her golden doodle puppy, Lucy and fat cat, Simba. Lucy, the puppy, is giving Jack a run for his money. We thought no dog had as much energy as Jack, but we were wrong. Poor little Jack looks like he's had a bad visit to the salon, his ears are all glued up from Lucy chewing on them. Simba has helped me fulfill my dream of giving someone a shot (these little eccentricities remain from my pre-med days). He needs one twice a day for his diabetes and I am loving it.

Their neighborhood is a former farm or something. There is a huge pasture in the middle that is communal property. When we came home this evening, there were 7 deer in the yard. Some were just little folks. Too cute.

Tomorrow is our last day. I may have to take a few snapshots to share before we hit the road. Lord knows, we'll never live in a place this nice.

waiting

is it wrong that I wish the super bowl would just end so i can watch the office?

sunday stress

Are you watching the big game? We are. When I say that, I'm using the word watching in the loosest sense of the word since neither one of us knows anything about sports. We were excited about having some wings and nachos in honor of the big event, but then we were too busy and too lazy to go to the grocery store. Our situation wasn't helped by Freddie's sudden anxiety attack over bills, mess, groceries, filing, taxes, the dog, the vet, unpacking, money, you name it.

He does this occasionally and I do my best not to kill him. In these moments, he loses all ability to see his own role in all of it. He talks incessantly and needs me to drop whatever I'm doing and fix his problems. I finally snapped today and reminded him that I hadn't made the file he was obsessing over, or moved it. It wouldn't bother me if it wasn't so sudden, well it probably would, but I could maybe get in on the program. It might also help if he nicely asked for my assistance instead of suddenly spazzing out. Though I suppose if I looked at myself very carefully I might find one or two areas where I'm not perfect. Surprising, I know.