Tuesday, July 25, 2006

why public access tv is a bad idea

I was flipping channels just now when I found a show called Cool Readers. It's hosted by a big bald guy who wears a Cool Readers t-shirt. In the middle of the O's are some to little spots that I guess are supposed to be pupils. I'm not sure.
On the show the guy chats with two kids about a book that they enjoy. He asks them a series of questions and then offers them an opportunity to read two pages of the book.
I get the impression this guy has been hosting this show for a while because it seems like some of these kids are regulars, but he still seems quite goofy in his role. He laughs at his own jokes, most of them jokes the kids don't quite get and has a really hard time pronouncing a few words, like maybe his favorite book ought to be the dictionary. He's got kind of a flamboyantly gay southern accent and reminds me a lot of the mom from The Nutty Professor-every time he gets excited about the conversation, I expect him to start clapping his hands and shouting Hercules! Hercules!
The first set of kids I saw were a boy and girl who were both going into 8th grade. The boy brought the book Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince. First Jarrod told us a little about the book, (This guy is clearly not Matt Lauer-he hasn't even read the book jacket before the kids come on the show) and our host tried his best to chat him up from what he knew about the series from watching the movies-he admitted he hadn't seen this one yet, yeah Mr. Coo reader that's because it's not a movie! (Kind of reminded me of the time I was at the elementary school Read In Sleep In and the Charlotte Observer reporter asked me what I'd be doing if I were at home. I told her I'd probably be watching TV and then listed the entire Saturday night line up...I really liked Golden Girls. Coo reader and I had clearly missed the point.) Our friend then proceeded with the questions, who is your favorite character-Jarrod likes Harry, Coo reader thinks Ron's pretty cool and he actually called him a chap! After saying just about every word wrong they got on to Jarrod's reading of the story. Do you know which pages Jarrod chose to read? (warning here comes a spoiler) The pages where Dumbledore is killed! So, just in case he inspired you to read the story with his thrilling synopsis, there's no point now since you know how it ends. Plus, he could not have been any more boring. Way to take an exciting scene and kill it, Jarrod!!! He kept stumbling and mispronouncing words and then starting over. It was so painful. I instantly flashed back to 7th grade when we had to read out loud and the other kids would read like that. I would get so pissed that when it was my turn, I would read as fast as I possibly could to show my disgust. (Once again, I missed the point, and just showed all of you what a geek I am...like you couldn't guess since this post is all about a show I watched on the School Channel.)
The poor girl on the other side could hardly stand it either. She sat there so zoned out, staring at her fingernails like she was thinking, "damn, I need to get some fill ins" asJarrod read and read and read FOREVER painfully telling the details of Dumbledore's death.
You know what was the worst part? I sat and watched the next segment with two little girls (Mr. Coo Reader loves sisters!) for another twenty minutes and it was just as painful. I feel sad for the poor children of Winston-Salem. This guy is no Levar Burton.

1 comment:

a turkey said...

What? Dumbledore is DEAD?!?!? Oh, man, you totally ruined the book for me! =^)