just a little bit crazy

For a long time I used mentadent toothpaste. Do you remember this stuff?




It was good stuff. It really made your teeth feel bubbly and clean and you felt like you'd really accomplished something when you finished becasue it was no small feat getting an equal balance of white and blue on the brush. I can't find this stuff anymore, so I've moved on to Crest Whitening with Scope. I'm pretty happy with the switch and haven't really looked back yet (no turning into a pillar of salt for me.)

One thing I can't seem to let go of though is my toothbrush. I love this guy.



The key is the zig zaggy rubber bit running down the middle. The brush gives full coverage and the rubber piece really feels like your teeth are getting cleaned.

I am not an OCD tooth brusher. I don't carry one around in my purse to brush mid day. Sometimes I don't brush my teeth before bed (I do always brush in the morning because-gross!). But, I LOVE this toothbrush. I've had mine for way too long...as in I seriously can't remember when I bought it and I'm pretty sure I had it when I live in Richmond, which was, oh, about two years ago. (Stop yelling at me. In all other ways, I am not a vile disgusting human being. You don't understand the magic of this toothbrush.)

I've tried to find replacements. We thought this guy might work



but no.

Last night while I was cleaning out my underbed storage containers trying to sort through what could be dumped and what I needed to move, I found it. There sitting in my little plastic drawer was a small wedding present from Jesus. Are you ready? Wait for it? An unopened blue mentadent white and clean soft head toothbrush!!! Hooray! I think I'm finally ready to get rid of the red one, but first, we'll have one last hoorah. I'm taking it on my honeymoon. I'll begin my life in my new home with new blue. I think we'll be very happy together.

PS-While I was searching for a picture of old red to post on here, it dawned on me that I might be able to find this toothbrush online. Perhaps only in NC the Mentadent line has been discontinued, or perhaps some scoundrel on Ebay has been hoarding them all. Lucky me! I found it on drugstore.com and I bought 5! I might even share one with my new husband.

I feel a little like Elaine and the last sponge.

I got screwed by Barry at my Bachelorette Party!

That's what the t-shirts are going to say. We headed down to Seabrook Island, SC on Friday morning and arrived just in time to spend a few hours sitting on the overcast beach. Good thing, because that was the last time we'd see it.

Tropical Storm Barry was our uninvited guest for the weekend and he really crashed the party. But, thanks to some great girlfriends we made the most of our time nonetheless.

Each of the girls signed up to bring something and we started the weekend off right with my friend Amanda's dinner-make your own gourmet pizzas. Amanda brought along mini pizza crusts, four cheeses, including fresh mozzarella, two sauces, and a variety of other toppings. They were fabulous! (Note to all of you other lazy bums, this is a great idea for home too---I'm going to stock up on these ingredients as soon as the wedding is over and I don't have a dress to fit into (and as soon as we get a fridge!). The girls surprised me with a little birthday party after that.

I spent my actual birthday in a pretty crappy way. I visited my dad's family for my brothers' graduation. I was really glad to be there for them, but the history between my dad and I made things pretty rough and I actually spent about an hour on Saturday crying in a coffee shop. Sounds silly, but it was actually really helpful for Freddie to experience this together. I think he truly "gets it" now and I think that will help him understand those dynamics, and a number of my resulting neuroses a lot more.

Anyway, my real birthday was pretty poopy, but thanks to lots of great friends and my mom, I ended up with 3 really awesome post birthday celebrations.

After the birthday festivities, we broke out the sexy. The girls also gave me a little lingerie shower and I got lots of fun surprises for the honeymoon. Before I left, F had been concerned that the girls would all get me cotton nightgowns. He thought they might know me a little too well. In fact, Ev did ask me if I'd wear something slutty if she got it for me. I told this to Freddie and that I'd told Ev that maybe she could go somewhere in the middle, he said, "If she wants to get you something slutty, let her get you something slutty!" Hey Freddie, Ev did not let you down!

On Saturday we woke up to the rain. It rained all day long. What do you do when it rains all day long? You eat. Then you eat again, then you take a little nap. Then you eat some more and watch a movie. Then you eat again. Good times. I confess, all of the sitting did kick up some of my wedding anxiety. Everytime I saw Ev's computer, I kept thinking, I have a MILLION and two things to do and I'm just sitting! Luckily, we broke out the cards and that carried me through to the big night.

Tropical Storm Barry threatened to kill the party, but the girls and I did not let it beat us. When the limo bus guy called to see if we still wanted to go out, we said of course! The girls had a few games at the house and then we boarded the van and played a little "newlywed game" on the way to the restaurant. Freddie and I know each other quite well. I wonder if my friends thought we were crazy that we actually knew and had the same answers to the questions, what is your favorite baby name and what will you name your first dog? Hey! We've dated for 6 years! We talk about lots of stuff.

We had a great dinner at a restaurant in Charleston called Cintras. These guys were our dining companions...





This is the cast of the new Lifetime series Army Wives. Two tv obsessed friends, that is not a jab, I too, am TV obsessed, just with different shows, were abuzz all through dinner because they recognized two of the guys at the table. After some fast cell phone internet searching, they realized one was a no name guy who is the guest star on every show and this guy played a character on Charmed.



His name is Drew Fuller and I didn't recognize him at all, but he was yummy.

Since I thought it was fairly obvious, by the leis and the flashing bride button I was wearing, that we were celebrating, I felt like it'd be just fine if I was totally uncool and chatted them up. As we made our exit (more on that in a sec), I stopped by Drew and said, can I ask you a question? He said, yes. Are you on TV?

He kind of laughed. It was kind of a ha ha ha I'm too cool to pretend I'm into this, but I'm still a D list celebrity, so this totally rocks kind of laugh. He said, yes.

I said, my friends have been trying to figure out where they knew you from all night. Buffy, right?!....I mean CHARMED! (I didn't do this to be an ass, they debated about Angel earlier and that's how I got that whole thing in my head, but I was pretty smug about the mistake.)

He said, I'll tell you a secret, pretty much everyone at this table is on tv.

We introduced ourselves and I went on about my business. I wasn't carrying a camera, and no one offered, so I didn't get a picture, but seriously it's not like I'm saying I saw Brad Pitt, who would make this up?

As we tried to leave the restaurant, we were warned that we might want to make other plans. We checked the door only to find the water had climbed the curb and the step and that there was a small river flowing down Market Street.

We are brave ladies and would not let ourselves be stopped by a bastard named Barry, so we took off our shoes, rolled up our pants and stepped in. The water came mid calf and the rain was falling sideways, but we laughed it off and made our way to a place called Mad River.

The bar gave me a t-shirt with silly tasks on it. I did a few of them, including get a bartender to take his shirt of and take a picture with you!, and we had a few drinks. Sometimes when I drink, I like to get back at every guy who ever thought he could have whatever woman he wanted, by doing a little booty pinching. I like to reach around, take a little pinch, and then act totally nonchalant, so they don't have a clue who did it. Let's see how you like feeling like a piece of meat, sucker! I'd say I pinched about 25 butts last weekend. Good times. I only got pinched back once.

The sun finally broke though on our way home on Sunday, but I still had a great time. And, to tell the truth, while I missed the beach, I didn't care that much because I'm going to the beach in a month and I was pretty nervous that the bridesmaids would have ugly strap lines---here comes Bridezilla!

I'll post some pics as soon as I get 'em.

Amanda and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Today was crappy. I woke up feeling pretty good, which surprised me since I enjoyed a few too many margaritas at my birthday bash last night. About 20 minutes later, my instincts did not let me down, my body just hadn't caught up to my recent early rising courtesy of my new, loud, early bird roommate. Just a short while into the day, the headache and cotton mouth kicked in, only to be followed by a slight turning of the stomach. I complicated the matter by accidentally switching my zyrtec for a medicine I need to take with food and pretty soon my insides were in a tizzy.

I knew a shot of grease would give me a good kick in the pants and headed to the deli for a tasty Bacon, Egg, and Cheese sandwich (which will go with my new bikini quite nicely, I'm sure.) Unfortunately, I didn't get the grease fast enough and instead was overwhelmed by the smells and sight of not quite done chicken patties and had to make a brief detour to the ladies room. Blech.

I started the day in a foul mood because the rest of my coworkers got to go to a conference, that was probably neither entertaining nor educational, but it was away from work-including a woman who is quitting tomorrow!-but 3 people had to be here to cover and since I'm on overnight duty tonight, I got volunteered, which not only meant I was stuck at work, but I was also busy!

Then I had to show one of our new interns around on a unit I don't even cover.

Finally, I had to show 2 new younguns the ropes...aka they followed me everywhere I went for 3 hours while I narrated my every activity. Good times.

So, I was angry. It actually felt kind of good because usually I like to stuff that stuff way down and just feel sad about it, but today I was pissed. Of course, no one cared enough to change anything, but still...

But, you know what? It's all good because tomorrow I'm going to the BEACH!!!!

The weekend is sure to be filled with sexy lingerie and drunk women. I'll be sure to share the juicy details upon my return.

birthday girls

This Sunday three lovely ladies will be celebrating their birthdays.

Amanda



Shiloh



Lily Rose





Last year on my birthday, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt came into the world. A few years ago it was Lily Rose Depp. Since such hot men are having their daughters on my birthday, it's only natural that one of them would invite me to their parties. I'll keep you posted.

mad for plaid

I recently purchased these shorts for my dear spouse to be.





However, he refuses to wear them. They've been sitting at his house for two weeks now. I finally asked, "are you going to wear them or not."

The answer, no.

Yesterday, I was wearing a pair of long madras patchwork shorts from American Eagle.
"Do you like my shorts?", I asked.
He said, "Yeah, they're cute."
"See," I said, "you could wear your shorts. You like these."
He replied. "You're a girl. Those shorts are cute---for a girl!"

I tried to consult my roommate, Evelyn about this predicament. She thinks he's not preppy enough to wear those shorts. I maintain that I can make help him be preppy enough. At that moment from the other room you can hear the boy who was watching something crazy on TV shout,

"OH OH OH A Gorilla got out...mumble, mumble, mumble...It's an APE!"

And that's when I realized that this is a battle I will most definitely lose.

43,538 minutes

That's how much time we have until the wedding. It's one month from today.

These are the things I have to accomplish in that time:

find a rehearsal dinner dress (and shoes, and jewelry)

make everyone realize they cannot bring their kids to the wedding (so find a sitter and a place to store the children)

Make sure fiance's groomsmen get their measurements to the tux lady

convince fiance to wear the tie I bought him for the wedding even though it contains PINK

make ringbearer pillow

change the bout. color one more time

finalize details for next day brunch (invites, food, etc)

Honeymoon (as in, everything except our flights, which are the only thing we've taken care of.)

monogram bouquet ribbon

decide readers' texts

make guestbook on ofoto

make wedding cd

buy rest of bridesmaid gifts

help fiance figure out something to give his fellas

buy parents' gifts

final dress fitting

frame bridal portrait

wedding announcement

bridesmaid luncheon seating arrangments

bachelorette weekend!!!

finish bulletin (get info to printer, tie ribbons, decide hymns, flower dedication, etc.)

buy cake trinkets

make dj play list

one million thank you notes

toss, sort, give away, and pack my crap

buy fridge

move

marriage license

communion bread

bridesmaid bouquet ribbons

Actually this is not the end of the list, but I'm about to have an anxiety attack, so I've got to stop. Don't be fooled, I actually am happy that the wedding is only a month away!

umm, yeah

So Kelly from The Office, her name is really Mindy Kaling, not Mindy Ephron. I actually knew that, but when I started typing I second guessed myself. I remembered that while I was checking her comment status, I also noticed that many of the posts were authored by Mindy Ephron and since I am a true fan, I wanted to get her name right. Once again, self doubt has ruined me and that is probably why she won't let me be part of her "team"

honesty

I don't play tennis. A small part of me longs to when I see folks walking in their tennis whites to the court at Figure 8 island in the summer, but alas it just not my game. I actually took tennis lessons for a while when I was growing up. My coach said I had a lot of potential, but I was lazy. Pretty much the story of my life ;) I had a pretty good forehand and backhand swing, but I just wasn't into running for the ball. Man, when the ball came to me though, you'd better watch out. I was killer on the ball machine.

I do not play tennis. But, I do desperately want to wear a tennis skirt. I love them. I think they're so cute. Everytime I go in a sporting good store, I covet them. At Marshalls, I try to convince myself that it doesn't matter that I don't play tennis. The skirts are at such a great price, I could buy one just to wear around the house. I could shuffle and hop side to side in my den pretending that I play. I could jump up in front of the mirror like I'm executing the ultimate serve and watch the skirt float gracefully back down to my legs. I really, really, really want a tennis skirt. Perhaps it's the middle school cheerleader in me, or the crazy person.

I also really want an ice skating dress.

busy bee

Yesterday was pretty eventful:

I actually took advantage of my costco card, finally buying more than just a bag of salmon or some milk and cheese. I FILLED the cart.

We made over 100 exam bags for the students at Salem College.

The Office! I won't say more in case you haven't seen it yet.

We checked out and then put an offer on a house! The sellers have until 8 to let us know. They're waiting on a sister in Cali to help them decide. If we don't get this house, I will be convinced that we are meant to be homeless. Cory and Topanga didn't have much when they started out and they did just fine. (Bonus points if you catch that reference.)

humbled

I love the office. love. it. So, when I found Mindy Ephron's blog (Mindy plays Kelly on the show), I was all over it. She posts about her favorite purchases...comedy and shopping in one place, count me in.

I really enjoy reading her posts and recently noticed that there are very rarely any comments posted. So, I began to think that perhaps I would write a comment on Mindy's blog. I hoped that she might then check out my blog and we would become fast friends.

She recently posted about underwear or something like that and I seized the moment. I sat for a minute trying to think of something witty yet appreciative to write. I crafted the perfect response and entered the appropriate security information.

As I waited for the comment to go through, I was elated. I was trying to decide whether I'd tell anyone what I'd done. I couldn't believe I'd been the only one to notice that she had very few fans on her blog. Of course she'd appreciate the support and friendship too, of course. Sharing would allow friends to support me as I waited for her reply. (I felt like I'd just sent her a note. Mindy, do you like me? Check yes or no.) Of course, it might also be fun to have friends just notice Mindy's regular comments and see that we're buds.

Fortunately, that problem was quickly resolved. A message flashed on the screen clarifying why Mindy has no fan following. Comments on her blog are limited to team members. I quickly hung my head in shame and signed off.

I'm totally committed. honest.

Winston-Salem is one of the shooting locations for the new George Clooney flick Leatherheads and there have been many George and Renee spottings about town. I was telling my dear fiance how I hadn't heard of any John Krasinski, you know my tv boyfriend Jim Halpert, sightings yet.

Him: What would you do if you ran into him?

Me: I don't know what I'd do. Kiss him probably.

Him: No,you wouldn't really kiss him. What about me? You'd just want to be friends.

Me: You're right. Friends who kiss.

and they're off

Well, they've actually been off for a couple of weeks now and we're starting to get them back too, but since I shared some pictures of myself (which were unfortunately much larger than I intended), I figured I'd go ahead and share these too. Yes, we were silly and took pictures of us putting our invitations in the mail. I have been planning to make a scrapbook of all of this wedding madness, but so far, I just have a bag of supplies and one page.

Here are some snaps of my fiance and his sister and I stuffing and stamping, a shot of the final product (oops I'd already changed into my jammies) and us dropping them in the mail. As soon as we did, we realized we'd put them in metered, but they're coming back, so it must have been alright!
















Perhaps now that I've actually shown my face, you all will feel more inclined to comment. Where is the love blogworld?

april showers

Our wedding is quickly approaching and with each weekend, we've had a lovely little pre-wedding event to escort us to the big day.

Our first shower was back in December, so it's not really an april shower, but I'm slack, so I'm telling about it now. It was an ornament shower and we received lots of lovely ornaments from friends and family to put on our new tree. We received so many ornaments, that I may actually have to get two trees.

I forgot to bring my camera along, so I just have a few shots. Here is one of the veggie tray...too cute for Christmas...




My first April shower was held at the tavern just off the campus of my alma mater. It was supposed to be held in the lovely arbor outside, but the threat of rain moved us inside. I was a little bummed, because it actually never rained, but we had a great time and got some pictures outside afterward.












I got some really cute individual group shots too, but didn't ask permision to post these folks on the web, so I better just stick with this...

The next weekend, my friends from High School threw us a little cook out in Charlotte. We had a lot of fun, eating, talking, and playing bocce, and they were kind to give us a lovely flower pot and some home improvement and gardening books from Home Depot.






The following weekend was crazy. I worked the Junior League rummage sale on Friday night, attended a friend's wedding on Saturday, worked an on-call shift at the hospital on Saturday night and then my beloved's family held a shower for us on Sunday. They were so sweet to work with my busy schedule.
This was his first shower, so he got lots of practice opening gifts in front of everyone (it's really a strange thing, don't you think? I want to be sure to give appropriate attention to the gift without boring everyone. The whole time I'm thinking, am I smiling enough, do I seem excited enough? Do they want me to pass it around? Do they want me to go on?--crazy.) He loved this shower because the gifts were more co-ed..under this pink paper, was a wet/dry shop vac. He opened it as soon as we got it home!















We actually have a couple of showers in May too. This weekend, our church friends in Charlotte are having a little shindig for us, and next weekend the eastern NC crowd is hosting an engagment gathering. fun fun fun

rain rain go away!!!

I'm supposed to have my bridal portraits this weekend. I've wanted to take them here for as long as I can imagine.














Because this is where I went to college and for years I watched brides posing outside my dorm window and dreamed of that day when I'd do the same. And because it's lovely.

Tomorrow, I'll be standing in those same spots, only I'll be in a mud puddle because it's supposed to RAIN all weekend. The forecast has changed this week from looking okay to looking gloomy, then gloomier, then 100% depressing. Now, I'm hoping it will change back. Keep your fingers crossed.

Either way I'll look like a princess tomorrow, or a freak. My hair appointment is at 9:30. My make up is at 11. We don't decide whether to move til Sunday until 1, so looks like I'm getting all dolled up no matter what!

why I felt a brief urge to stab a teenage girl in the face

Yesterday, I masqueraded about town in my secret identity, High Maintenance Girl! High Maintenance Girl takes a half day off work so she can get her hair highlighted. (Because High Maintenance Girl forgot to call ahead of time to make sure she didn't have roots for her bridal portrait.) High Maintenance Girl goes to a different salon to get her eyebrows and lip waxed. (Because HMG's stylist moved to a more expensive salon and HMG wanted to at least get the 20% discount at the old salon for her waxing.) HMG wastes away the afternoon shopping. (Because HMG does not want her fiance wearing clothes with ink stains to all of their wedding parties and HMG needs her groomsmen's tux ties to be the perfect shade of green so they match the bridesmaids, but do not look like they're headed to the prom.)

While I was jaunting about town disguised as HMG, my alter ego, Repressed Anger Psychbitch came out to play.

I have a confession to make. Until yesterday, I was a waxing virgin. Well, not exactly, I had tried waxing once. At home. With the strips. On my bikini line. Not a good idea.

I do not want high maintenance eyebrows. I like the natural look and I particularly like the ease of it's care. My eyebrows aren't particularly unweildy. I have no dark stay hairs lurking in between and they aren't particularly long or shaggy, but I decided I'd get a professional to help me clean them up a bit before the wedding. This turned out to be a relatively easy procedure. Much easier than the at home venture, so I decided to go for it and let her wax my lip too.

Again, there is not a lot of action on the lip, but I must have a lot of pigmentation there because it does tan easily and I feel incredibly self conscious when the sun hits my tan lip and makes the tiny blone hairs look suspiciously like a teenage boy's first mustache, so I said, wax away!

Afterward, she put some stuff on too soothe my lip and brow and said that when she uses that stuff her redness usually fades in 2-3 hours. Hold up. 2-3 hours! How did I not think of this part?! I have stuff to do. High Maintenance Girl has to make up for that credit card she just paid off. I asked her if I should hide at my house during that time and told her about this time http://amandanothingmore.blogspot.com/2007/05/when-collagen-just-wont-do-from-myspace.html

She assured me it wasn't that bad and I went on my way.

After inspecting myself in the rearview mirror, I decided it was safe to go in Panera. I planned to order and sit at my booth with a magazine to let the redness wear off before I continued my adventures. I inspected myself one more time in the restroom mirror before I got in line. A little red just under the brows, but that was hidden in my eye sockets and a little red in the middle of my lip, but nothing atrocious.

The line was kind of long and two lovely high school girls got in behind me. They went back and forth debating what they would order. One thought about ordering ceaser salad. The other thought she should go for it. I will go on record saying, I do not love teenage girls. They bring out every weakness in me and every bad highschool memory, even though my highschool years were relatively painless. I often find them rude and obnoxious and snotty. I do like them individually, but in groups, they scare the crap out of me.

And, of course, they can smell fear.

A few minutes later, randomly interjected into their conversation, I hear these words.

"I forgot to wax my lip."
"That's okay, I forgot to wax my unibrow!"
"I can tell. Ha. Ha.)

So, this was clearly directed at me. This is the moment when Repressed Anger Psychobitch came out to play. I'm sure at that point that my waxing wasn't noticeable at all because my entire face was red. It took all I had not to turn around and grab that girl by the hair-or at least give her an ugly glare, but then I knew she'd see the wax marks and laugh at me again!

I tried to rationalize the experience.

They can only do it behind your back, Amanda, if you said something to them, they'd cower in shame. Unless they didn't.

They're insecure about their bodies. They have make other people feel low to be able to stand living in their own skin right now.

Remember, Mean Girls, and Queen Bees and Wannabees. You know what this is all about, let it go.

But, I couldn't. I sat there through my entire lunch thinking about that moment. Lord, please tell me this is now how my life will be every day when I have a child.

when collagen just won't do-from the myspace archives

As we rounded out a fun filled weekend in NYC my mom and I were killing our last 30 minutes in Times Square before our car arrived to take us to the airport. We have a laundry list of things we have to do when we go to NYC and while many of them are related to Christmas and didn't need to be checked off on our impromtu September visit, we did have to grab some cheesecake from Roxie's before we left.

As we made our way to the deli, we spotted a young lady getting her eyebrows waxed at the Anastasia salon in the 24 hour Sephora by the hotel. I was blessed with, I feel, fairly reasonable eyebrows, which I'm sure to everyone's dismay, I do not wax, or really even pluck save for the few stray hairs that clearly do not belong. I am a really low maintenance kind of girl and I'm just not that willing to commit to too much primping. I have, however, been considering a basic brow shaping that would be pretty easy to keep up and according to my mom, this Anastasia is apparently the shaper to the stars. She is the shaper of all shapers, so I thought maybe this was the time to check it out. I decided not to have the eyebrows done because it was 32 dollars and if I was going to spend that I would have bought the cute bag I'd seen on the street the night before. (While the spur of the moment trip was a lot of fun, it didn't allow much time to budget and save...so I did it on a shoestring.) I know I can get a brow wax for less than that at home, it may not be from the shaper to the stars, but I could get someone to do it with thread who will whisper sweet Korean nothings in my ear. As I worked my way out of the store, I paid homage to my friend Amanda, and checked out all of the fun products on display.

My matron of honor recently told me about her mother's venture into the world of lip plumping gloss and my mom and I had been talking about it on the way in. Mom swears she's allergic to the stuff, because it made her lips tingle when she tried it. On the way out of Sephora, I spotted a sample of lip venom and after considering the risks of sharing community gloss and weighing them with the benefits of buying more cheesecake with the money I saved, I smeared a little of the gloss on my finger and then on my lip (making no direct contact with the applicator.) It didn't really seem to do anything, but it did give a nice sheen.

A block down the street, I felt a slight tingle. Then the tingle turned into a burn. Now, I think my lips are actually normally relatively plump, but I thought if it was good enough for Paris it was good enough for me, so I decided to ride out the burn to see how I looked with Angelina's lips. Two blocks down the street, I caved. I had to wipe it off. My lips continued to burn. The pain was almost searing.

Mom and I parted ways as she headed off to find some fat pens (her souvenir weakness) and I went to get our cheesecake. After I woke the nice little cheesecake attendant out of his sleepy/drug induced dazed and assured him that I did not need an entire box of nine dollar slices, he noticed my lip rubbing. "I think you gotta rash", he said. "Oh, right", I replied, "yeah, I tried this lip stuff, not a good idea, are they kind of red?" "Yeah", he gestured, but not pointing to his lips, but all around his mouth, where I was feeling an incredible itching and burning. "I think you might wanna get somethin fa that. Ya might wanna try"...(SHUT UP YOU F-ING MORON AND GIVE ME THE CHEESECAKE SO I CAN GO CUT MY LIPS OFF WITH A BUTTER KNIFE AND BURY MY FACE IN A MANHOLE) 'maybe you should try soma that triple"..(seriously buddy, please stop talking because my face is on fire now and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to look a lot more like Ronald McDonald than Angelina Jolie.) "Hey, you don't gotta stand so far away. I'm not gonna bite you. Not unless you was a....a vegetable or somethin' (yes, he seriously said that. He's a quick one, that guy.)

Fortunately, about that time, my mom came in and I was able to pawn the cheesecake and the bill off on her, so I could step out of the store and stand in a corner. I hoped she would assure me that in fact, he was just making a big deal out of nothing, but instead when she saw me, she just laughed. I think maybe this is not a good look for me. And for the record, I don't think my lips ever actually got any more plump, the redness did, however, extend from my nose to my chin. It's good stuff, if that's the look you're going for.

Great tip for planning your wedding

So, if you really want to try something spectacular, plan your wedding while working 57 hours a week at one job and then add on three more and while you're at it, why not try to buy your first house too? Because you know what they say, what doesn't kill you...

So, last week we lost not one but two houses. We actually lost them both in the same day or rather the same half of a day, within two hours. poot. We stepped up our home buying process a few weeks ago. We realized we needed to become decision makers. We needed to act on our impulses, so we made our first offer. We shot low. 20K low because the house was really not worth what they were asking. It was smaller than we really need and much smaller than the price allowed, but it was in the cutest neighborhood and there was a little park right across the street. With a tire swing. A tire swing. And stone bridges crossing the creeks. So cute. But, also so expensive. It was probably fortunate that the realtor was an idiot who wasn't being honest with the owner about what the house was worth because we wouddn't have been able to live there long. The house has been on the market for 6 months and we were the first offer. The realtor lives in the same neighborhood, so he'd love for that house to sell high. We would not love that, so we passed on their counter offer of 3K down from the list price and no closing costs. Pshah, you fool. We're going to find a better house!

Unless, we aren't. Because that's how it looks today. Both of the houses we saw on Monday at 7 sold by Tuesday at 10. The realtors didn't even hear our offers. And now? Now, we can't look again until next week, but there isn't anything we even care to see right now.

I'm going to have to spend my first few weeks of newlywed life living on the street. Or worse! I may have to live in my fiance's dirty apartment!

planning the perfect southern wedding

oops

Last night I sweat it out hardcore sorting through other people's rummage for the Junior League rummage sale. When I got home, I remembered my bridal portraits in a week and a half and realized I better put some stuff on my newly develping zits. On top of that, I gave my face a good slathering with moisturizer from one of the new sample bottles of CeraVe the dermatologist gave me last month. This morning, my feet were dry so I put a little on them too.

Then I realized the doctor had actually given me two different samples, one of moisturizer and one of moisturizing facewash. Guess which one I slept in overnight...

the dash

You know what drives me crazy?!

I live in Winston-Salem. The dash signifies the historical merging of two cities, one ruled by Moravians in reenactment costumes and the other by wealthy chain smoking members of the Reynolds family. These two cities peacefully coexist as one and have been working hard to do so for quite some time. Until the mapquest guys came along.

Of their own accord, the mapquest guys decided that Winston-Salem is not a real city. To them, the dash is insignificant. Why not make it easier and just leave the dash out they say? Why because that dash is so important that young adults in town affectionately leave out the actual city names and just call the town "the dash". We're so in awe of this blending of two worlds, that we have used this moniker to represent a movement among young professionals to get involved and revitalize the city. The dash means something to us.

It was bad enough when mapquest dropped the dash, but now online ordering services are doing it to. I've recently received several error messages, yes the several does indicate my increasing fondness for online shopping, telling me that I need to use a valid street address or phone number. After several proof reads, I finally omit the dash and alas, my order goes through. It's making me crazy.

Curse you mapquest for taking away our history and all of you online companies for following suit. Long live the dash!

author's note: in case you can't sense my ironic tone, I'm really just pissed because when I fill out these forms, I know that I'm not the one who is crazy, they are! The dash really does exist.

Y'all come

We mailed out our wedding invitations on Sunday. It was quite ceremonious. Fred and I placed the invitations in the mailbox while my mom took pictures. Mom realized on Monday that we'd put them in the metered mailbox. oops. Now we're waiting to see what happens.

Our wedding is June 23rd, so we made the RSVP date June 14th. This is perhaps a bit early, but we have to let our reception site know our final count a week in advance, and we need a week to call the slackers who didn't rsvp. So.

We've recently been cursing the USPS. Of course, when we really think about it it is quite wonderful that they'll take my silly little greeting card all of the way across the country for $0.39, and they're really still being generous when they bump that price to $0.41 on May 14th, but in this particular circumstance, we're feeling quite screwed.

The USPS is actually giving a discount for overweight envelopes and reducing the price once you go over the $0.41 allowed weight. But, because we're mailing our invites out before the price increase, we still have the pay the higher rate.

However, since our rsvps are due after the 14th, we're also paying the higher rate for those. So, we're taking it in both ends. Clearly, Uncle Sam is excited about our nuptuals.

They don't have the new $0.41 love stamps out yet, so we had to use these.

Not my favorite, but better than the ones with lady liberty. Plus, they look kind of old and classic.

When we went to weigh the stuffed invitations we found that we had two choices,

or Martin Luther King. Don't get me wrong, MLK is wonderful, but we decided not to spotlight him on our wedding day. Unfortunately, the overpriced love stamps, only come in a bundle with the regular priced love stamps. Handy, right? Except when the USPS is robbing you blind! So, we splurged and bought the packet and now we're selling the $0.39 purple love stamps to anyone and everyone who needs to mail something by May 14th as we have a suprlus of 150 or so. Any takers?

Long Time Gone

I went and got you addicted. I made you think I was committed to posting regularly--even more regularly than I promised, and then I left you hanging. I like to keep you on your toes. I really have no explanation, well no interesting explanation, so I'll leave it at that. I like to keep the mystery in our relationship. But, I will return shortly.

sly like a fox

Last night I went to get my picture taken so I could finally renew my passport. I really should have renewed it a little while ago, but I had very good reasons for waiting:

1) I hoped to convince the US pasport office to just extend my passport for an additional month. Mine expires June 8 I'm getting married June 23 and going on my honeymoon on June 25. My name will change shortly after that and I'll have to get ANOTHER passport. Wouldn't this be easier for all of us if we just extended mine until after the wedding. btw, if this is happening to anyone else, if you renew your passport and your name changes within a year, it's free to get it fixed.

2)I didn't have any checks. I misplaced my one remaining check book and I refuse to order more for the few months I will still have this name and this checking account. That's silly. Instead, I prefer to save the $13 it would cost me to order more and waste it in gas driving to the far away credit union service center to make them issue me certified checks. Or, I make my fiance write them for me instead of paying me back for his half of our car payment. So, I waited for him to owe me money, so I could use his checks. Another fun side note, he has a sampe check pack from the bank so we really enjoy seeing which pops up. My Junior League dues were paid with an appropriately girly green check with a pink border that had purple polka dots. The passport people will be getting a horse check.

3) I was trying to find out how long renewals are currently taking. I don't want to pay to expedite if it isn't necessary. However, because I waited, now it is necessary.

4) I needed to have a good hair day. I don't like to shower in the morning because my hair is crazy and while it doesn't require a lot of styling, to wear it down does require a lot of rewetting and starting over. So, I usually wash it at night and pull it back for work. I also find that it helps reign in my beauty, which really makes working with people A LOT easier.

I worked an on-call shift the other day which allowed me to get off at noon on Thursday. (Surprisingly, sometimes it is actually worth working 27 hours straight to have the afternoon free-although I don't actually have any choice in the matter.) So, I washed my hair after work and went on about my activities. When I got home, I rewet my hair, reapplied my curly products and waited for the end result. I found it satisfactory, so at 10:30 I went to Kinko's.

As I sat on the stool smiling, (anxiously awaiting the surprise flash, I always start smiling early), the girl told me I could do that smile. I had to do something more natural. Um, this is pretty much my only smile choice, other than the ginormous smile related to puppies, babies, and 4th grade year book photos. She consulted her colleague after taking a subdued smile photo that included teeth. Nope, Joe says no teeth. Only natural poses. Okay, so I can't stand on my head, I get that, but why can't I smile?! So, we tried several times. You know this is going to make me look like a criminal, don't you? I asked her. She just laughed, and waited for me to literally get the grin off my face. I practiced a few times...she was very patient and I finally settled on a very slightly upturned close lipped smile.

It's horrible. My hair actually looks okay. My eyes are open. My earring is weird, but you can't tell. I applied some vaseline, as my lips are kind of dry these days, right before I went in, so the end result is a glistening sneaky little smirk.

Now, I'm praying that they make me take a new photo when I get the name changed. It's actually not horrible, but really unpleasant. On a funny note, my fiance, who always has to be reminded to smile, why do men do this?, was actually encouraged by the postal employee to smile and the guy cracked jokes to help him. I guess that's what you get when you pay two more bucks, that and you get stopped by security when you cross the border. You wanna show teeth you gotta pay the price, right?!



L

computer geek

I'm pretty a pretty quick study when it comes to technological things. I can program ANY vcr like a champ (sidenote, clearly I'm not that technical since I still use a vcr and not a dvr or tivo, but yes, I do know how to work those too.) I'm good at figuring out how to install things and put things togther and I like that sort of stuff. But, I'm here to make a confession, I do not know how to use a scanner. Correction, I did not know how to use a scanner.

For the past several days I've been trying to figure out how to use the scanner at work so that I can begin to compile photos for our rehearsal dinner slide show. Fortunately I convinced Mrs. L to do this task herself for all of my fiance's photos so I don't have to do those too. I have tried two different scanners and could not figure out how to work them. Normally, at this point, I would turn to the manual, but alas these are not my scanners, so there is no manual to turn to. Each time I tried I encountered a different problem. How do I get just the picture to save, not the whole blank screen? How do I save it as a jpg file and not a bitmap or an adobe file? How do I crop it? How do I turn it on? But, finally today I mastered the scanner. Well, perhaps master is a little too strong of a word. Today I scanned a picture, got rid of the rest of the screen, and saved it as a jpg file. So, 1 down, 85 more to go, then I just have to choose which pictures I want to use, put them in order and send them off by the end of the month.

Dear readers, for your viewing pleasure, the first real photo of me on this blog...enjoy.

A Study of Schoolbooks & Shoes: A Very Special Love Letter

A Study of Schoolbooks & Shoes: A Very Special Love Letter

I just read this little story on Libby's blog. Libby was inspired by the contest Crane is running about treasured letters. Her story made me think of my own family's special letter.

My grandparents, though they loved one another dearly, were very different in several ways. While my grandfather was a sentimental pack rat, a trait I very proudly inherited and claim, my grandmother is a practical neat freak. When my grandfather died, my mother and her sisters tossed thousands of Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes forms and tax returns dating back to the days when my 60 year old aunt was an infant.

My grandfather served in the Navy as a meteorologist during the Korean War. My grandparents met while he was stationed near her home town and continued to date while he was "on the boat." My grandfather adored my grandmother and wrote her many letters telling her so. I asked my grandmother recently if she kept them and she quickly replied, "no, they were too mushy." "You didn't keep any!?" I asked her. "Just the one" she told me and then told me the story of my grandfather's proposal in a letter.

It's a sweet story, but it actually caused a bit of a squabble in his family because he entrusted my great grandmother with the task of giving her the letter and the ring. My great grandmother didn't consider asking her sister to be present for the moment and she was not happy about being excluded.

"Do you still have the letter?" I asked my grandmother.

"Yes." She told me.

"Where do you keep it?" I asked her.

"I'll never tell a soul," she said.

The practical person that I am, I thought that was so sweet, but worried that one day we'd lose track of this piece of family history.

On a recent trip to visit her in Indiana, my grandma and I began talking about the letter again. She brought it up and told me she'd found the letter and she got it out for me to read.

He described his love for her and how much he missed her. In it he said, "Alice Faye is singing our song." I could picture him laying on his neatly made military cot, with an old fashioned radio behind him listening to their song, "I'll Be Loving You Always," pouring his heart out to my grandmother, asking her to be with him forever, and then having to wait so long to hear her reply.

My grandmother has only shared that letter with me and I treasure that moment with her.

My beloved and I don't really have a song, so for our first dance we'll be borrowing that one from my grandparents. When I first listened to the song myself, I was overwhelmed with the most vivid picture. It was like a dream sequence, in old sepia tones, I could see this young man pouring his heart out to a young woman and asking her to be his bride, and I began to cry. The story still makes me weep.

So often, with our parents or grandparents or older folks we just see them for who they are to us. But, in that moment my grandmother opened herself up to me in a way that really allowed us to connect like we never had before. Suddenly, their relationship was about so much more than fifty plus years and a family and a lifetime of adventures. I could see in that moment that the four children, five grandchildren, and five great grandchildren that came out of that relationship really came from the love of a young couple who spent their first date roller skating, and I suddenly realized the full potential of human emotions.

as if life weren't already difficult enough...

We're in the process of buying a new home. I'm also in the process of wrapping up my job, securing a new job, working 3 other jobs, planning a wedding, planning a honeymoon, trying not to get taken into custody by the IRS, and trying to sort and pack and toss my stuff, so life is a little bit stressful right now.

Late last week and early this week, we completed the process of loan preapproval. This is a good thing, and while the banks initially thought we were good for several hundred thousand dollars more than we did, we decided to use our own good sense and go for something semi reasonable. So, now we just have to find the perfect house. We're really wide open on this one, which our realtor loves, I'm sure. Between the two of us, we'll be working in three cities, and there's a fourth city in between, so our options are pretty open. We want something with space, character, and charm, and a low price tag. Easy enough, right? Wrong. We've learned in this process that my fiance does not want a fixer upper, though I have great aspirations of starting my own home flipping show. So, last night we ruled out the house where I knew I would rock my babies to sleep. (I guess I still could, but the owners might find that a little creepy.) Today we're back on listingbook, our local real estate hunting guide.

While all of this is stressful, it's also exciting. I am currently carrying around two large, but lovely flowerpots to sit on the steps we're waiting to purchase. I'm really excited about finding our first place together and making it our own. You know what I am not excited about though?! Someone involved in this whole home buying process has sold my e-mail address!!!!!!! My e-mail address that never gets any spam!!! (Well, I guess it does, but it goes in a little spam filter so I never have to see it, but this spam is elusive spam and it shows up right in my inbox. I know that I have not entered any contests, because I do not give this address out to businesses, it's not the one connected to our Listingbook account, it's not connected to anything, but they keep sending me messages!!! In the course of time it's taken me to write this blog, I've gotten 10 messages. MAKE IT STOP! I thought it was sold by someone involved in the mortgage stuff-because it was all about veterans loans and stuff, but now they're sending me tons of messages about children's clothes and diapers, soon I'll get info about retirement...life is moving too fast, I'm only 27---LEAVE ME ALONE! hmmph.

everyday is Christmas

The wedding gifts have started rolling in. Well, perhaps I wouldn't say rolling, but we have received TWO presents. I was given warning about one. It seems my friend's wife was bored at work and did a little online registry shopping. She meant to have the gift sent to their home, so they could bring it to the wedding, but when her sale was complete, she realized it was headed to Charlotte-without a tag or wrapping, so they called ahead to tell me to keep my eyes out. But, the other one was a complete surprise!

The first gift was this Iced Tea Set.


I got a little trigger happy with the pitchers in the registry process. I don't know what it is about them, but I love them...and goblets. So, we're registered for about three or four, or maybe five, different pitchers or sets of glasses, some are sets, some are not. I may have to do some exchanging, when all is said and done, or I may have to throw a big fat party!

This was the surprise!



My friends at work at Crock Pot Crazy! Seriously! They love 'em. I hear about the things they make in their crock pot all of the time. I recently got a "Fix It and Forget It" crock pot cook book and have tried making a few things, but what was most difficult about the whole process is that while you can leave the meal for several hours, when it needs to be off, it needs to be off, you can't just let it hang for another hour until you get home from work. So, we needed one with a timer-and now we have one! Hooray! I'll let you know how the country style ribs turn out when they're not an hour overcooked.

I have my first big shower on Saturday. I had an ornament shower in December, which was really fun, but this is just a general shower and I can wear a cute dress-perhaps the one I was planning to wear for Easter except it was FREEZING. The invite said regrets only, so we don't know exactly who is coming, but I've really been surprised by some of the folks who will have quite a drive to make it. It's going to be under the arbor at a restaurant just off my college's campus-where George Washington himself dined back in the day. I'm pumped!

PS-I've got to admit, it took a great act of strength not to peek at the registries while I was hunting for these pictures!

newsy

What a better way to honor the gift of the savior than by getting some serious stuff checked off the wedding list? That's how I spent my Good Friday.

After meeting with the florist, we sat down with the woman at our church to discuss our wedding bulletin. I know a lot of girls go DIY on this part of the wedding, but our church will not allow it. After seeing a few of the possibilities out there, I can see why. My mom was the star of the meeting because she'd actually been up all night assisting in labor--yes, like the kind of labor that results in a little tiny baby, or in this case, a nine and a half pound baby. About a month ago one of our ministers, and our friend, had a serious heart condition and has been in the ICU since. His pregnant wife has been busily visiting him and taking care of their other two little boys. My mom and another woman were stand in labor and delivery coaches for the big day. Luckily, Dad had just been moved to a regular room and was allowed to be there for the 20 minutes of actual delivery, but mom had a pretty active role in the whole process, and didn't leave the hospital until 5 am that morning...that made for a pretty eventful day of wedding errands--especially since she compensated for her exhaustion with coffee and little food, and it was quite hot in the alteration shop, but that is a story for a different day!

After standing for an hour in my too tight bridal shoes, uh oh!, my dress is currently being outfitted with a bustle and a skirt that I won't trip over!

And, I've lost 10 pounds!

Also, we may buy a house this week...pretty crazy.

But, the best part of the weekend, besides holding that sweet little baby, we stopped by the Banana Republic outlet and they were had 40% off of EVERYTHING in the store, and we had a coupon for another 20% off! I actually didn't see much I was interested in, but found several pairs of pants for my husband to be. Now there is a slight possibility that he'll be able to go to these wedding events without a massive ink stain on his clothes. :) hooray.

china, and crystal, and stainless, oh my!

Since I posted the silver, I figured I'd share the rest of our fanciness...

Our formal china-(Take note, ours is actually VERY reasonably priced for a place setting.)






Our accent plates-Holiday and Everyday






And, finally, our crystal-not sure if you can tell, but there are actually little polka dots around the rim...they look nice with the china.




These are all supposedly "fancy" items, but who can say what you'll want when you're an old lady? This is the only time I get to make a huge gift list just for ME--oh yeah, him too ;) And, all of my stuff seems to always be on sale!

**Edit**
I put it in the title, but forgot it in the post...and I know you all can't stand it any longer. The stainless flatware, because it will be forty years before we have any silver, and while I'm trying to lose weight, a girl's gotta eat!

Silver Belle

My fiance, I should give him a cute name huh?, and I registered back in December at our local department store. In Charlotte, this store has really gotten huge and it's the only department store in the small town where he grew up, so when it came to our fancy stuff, we knew we were headed to Belk.

A lot of my friends have recently been saying that they're not going to register for formal china. Fine. So you don't throw a lot of parties. So it's just not you fine. It's not me either, but I want it to be, so I did. Actually, I think it actually is already me a little bit, it's just that I don't have the space or cash to assume my full identity just yet. I'm sort of like a superhero. I am Martha in disguise.

We started with the silver, because there weren't as many options in silver as there were in china, crystal, etc and we don't like a lot of options. We think we do, but we don't. Options overwhelm us. We chose a pattern that reminded us of my engagement ring. It's engraved. I love it. The name of the pattern is Kirk-Stieff Old Maryland Engraved.





Silver is expensive. But, the fiance and I discussed the fact that we probably won't get much of it for a while. We'll add to it as we go along and maybe we'll have it all right before we die. Then we can pass it on to our children, or they can use it to pay for our funerals.

Mrs. L (the future mother in law) loves the few pieces of silver she got so much that she's used them at every meal I've eaten with them. She always tells me she wishes she bought more pieces when they were $9 a piece instead of $70. So, we chose silver and I love it.

A few nights ago while we were eating with my midwestern aunt, we were discussing the registry. She has offered to give us her china. I told her I'd still take it even if we do complete our pattern. Then, she mentioned she had inherited my great Aunt's silver. She said, I could give it to you, but you already registered for some. I originally debated purchasing silver at an estate sale, but I hear that it's hard to come by these days and I loved our pattern so we scanned away. However, as I mentioned before, since we'll only be able to eat the last supper on it, I told my aunt I'd still love to have her's.

"I'm sure someone will get you some. How much does a place setting cost?", she said.

"I don't know how much it is for a place setting." I replied, "but it's..."

She interjected "well, what about..."

And I continued, "about 69 dollars"

And she cut me off again, "oh yeah, people will definitely get you that!"

And I finally finished, "for a fork."

The she and fiance both chimed in, "FOR A FORK?!?!"

After a long discussion about my highschool friend whose silver pattern was started when she was young and completed on her 18th birthday, I concluded by reminding her that I was certain she'd paid at least thirty dollars for the necklace she was wearing.

"Yes" She agreed.

"Well if you melted that you could make the bowl of a spoon. You'd still need a handle, that would be another thirty. That means it's only $10 for the engraving. That's a steal!"

They laughed, but remained unconvinced.

Fiance could not believe we had these items on our registry and wondered what people would think when they saw them. (I guess he forgot the moment when we picked them out together.)

"I didn't know you'd turned into such a little Southern Belle" my aunt said.

Finally I silenced them with a phrase I have not used once during my wedding planning, but may have to start. "We're keeping them on the registry because I like them and I'm the BRIDE and I said so!"

sprout

I was delighted yesterday to see that my favorite part of spring has begun to arrive...





As soon as the weather clears up, I'll be sure to share a few of my fave shots from the hood.

oops

I just reached back to scratch my lower back and noticed the tag to my underwear was sticking out. I tried to tuck it in but it kept popping back out. Further palpitation revealed that this is because the tag was sewn to the outside. You know why? Because this morning, I put my underwear on inside out!

yum

My tastes in men have changed a bit over the years. While I used to have a thing for long hair, now I prefer short hair-I actually like it a little spikey too. I used to be mildly attracted to the grunge/hippy look (no smells necessary, just a tie dye shirt or a pair of baggy shorts), now I've got quite the thing for a man in a well fitting suit. Lately, I've started to really appreciate a pair of well fitting designer jeans. However, one thing has remained a constant. I love a guy in a baseball hat. Now don't get me wrong, not just any hat will do. I'm not looking for a netted trucker cap or an oversized flat billed hat with the tag still on. I'm talking about a well worn, well tailored "I'm just an everyday modest guy hanging out" kind of baseball hat. There's something to the mysteries held behind the hat. The way the brim casts a shadow on the jaw line or the way you can just barely catch a glimpse of the sexy eyes hidden underneath that I can't resist.

My betrothed does not have the same appreciation for baseball hats and it takes convincing to get him to wear one, but when he does...mmmm.... love it.


***sidenote. The fine young med student who inspired this post, I spotted him out the window while I was on my way to the library, is now standing beside me and I'm feeling a bit embarassed-and turned on...

dumb

You know what I did for St. Patrick's day? Nothing. Strike that. I did work alone for 12 hours. Then I came home and cleaned like crazy. Alone. I was a big lonely alone person. I went through the millions of boxes I kept in storage for the three years I was in grad school and trashed everything. (Because who doesn't love throwing money away.) No, really, I didn't throw EVERYTHING away. It was worth paying the storage fee for the six things I will keep, but I did trash two boxes full of stuff and box up seven boxes for the rummage sale and I'm not even finished. The most fun part is that I actually got called into work at 12:30, so I had to leave mid-clean, so the end result of all of my cleaning is actually a basement full of MESS.

I did find a new green outfit to wear to work on Saturday, but I didn't get to pinch anyone. Not one person. I was on-call so non of my buddies were there. My betrothed said, "weren't there nurses around?...and patients?" I informed him that, yes, there were, and many were not wearing green, but unfortunately pinching them is frowned upon, though I was tempted.

It's hard growing up.

Luck of the Irish

I love holidays. I have a t-shirt for every holiday. Not an applique sweatshirt, but a cool t-shirt. I usually wear the t-shirt with black pants and a black jacket to work. I have an orange long sleeve with a small black witch's hat on the chest for Halloween. For Christmas, I have a collection of shirts. I like to celebrate.

On valentine's day I wore a red shirt with a small a silver heart. Before I changed for dinner, I said to Freddie, "you love my holiday shirts. It's your favorite thing about me."

"Yes," he said, "it is my favorite thing about you. When I tell people about you, I tell them about how nice you are, and how cute you are, and how fun you are, 'but you know what', I say, 'my favorite thing about Amanda is how she has a shirt for every holiday.'"

They're very fun. I also have socks. And boxers for sleeping, which I also buy for Freddie to wear because I shouldn't be the only one having all of the holiday fun. (Though he often doesn't follow the rules and wears his boxers any time during the year that he wants and then they aren't clean when the holiday approaches, but this is just one of the many things I will fix after we're married :)

So, of course, when St. Patrick's Day arrives, I do not disappoint. I ALWAYS wear green. I do have a black shirt with a green shamrock, but I can't seem to place it this year. I decided I'd wear a short sleeved green cable knit sweater with my khaki work pants and, of course, my st. patty's day socks (shamrocks with faces holding a foamy mug of beer). I couldn't find the socks at first, but I hunted in the attic and there they were.

I rolled in to work, ready to pinch, because NO ONE was wearing green. Then I realized why.

Today isn't the 17th like I thought.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day.

Poot.

only in ardmore

I was unloading my car on Sunday night, when I hear a loud yelp. I say a yelp, because it was loud and short, but didn't exactly bring to mind images of pain or distress. A few seconds later I heard another one. The third was followed by the scraping sound of skateboard wheels.

I walked around my car to see that it wasn't skateboards I heard, but roller skates, well probably roller blades, but really they didn't sound that smoothe...there was something retro about them. I looked up to see two men skating down the street, enjoying the warm March evening and then I heard it...In a style that could only be matched by the Triad Pride Men's Chorus, half show tune the other half diva, one of them was singing...

"everything you own in a box to the left"

And I thanked God that I live in Ardmore.

Who's the ho?

Apparently me.

I was at Target with my mom on Saturday night (where else would we celebrate her birthday?), and we were looking at a cute bathing suit cover up. Behind me, I heard a woman say, "SHUT UP" really loudly to a child. I turned to see what was going on and apparently the woman spotted me. I really don't think I made a face, though I admit to often doing so without knowing, but I know I only looked for a second. I didn't stare or anything. I turned back around, but then I heard, "WHAT?!, HO! What are you staring at? Make me sick!"

Me? Seriously? A ho? I looked around, but yes, it was me she was talking to.

I made a weird face to my mom like, um, can you believe this? But, my mom thought I was making a face about the cover up she was holding up to her. "What?" she said, several times!, I just stared at her..."nothing, mom" "No, really, What?" By this point I was worried that my "friend" would beat me down if she thought I was talking about her again. Finally I had to stare at my mom and mouth, mom, stop, now...seriously. And fortunately, she did.

When the situation cleared, I told her what happened. I was really upset about it. I don't know what I wish I would have done. I wish I wouldn't let things like that bother me. I also kind of wish I could have said something back. Something like, I'm sorry, ma'am, were you talking to me? But, she really was kind of scary. I told my mom I was afraid the girl would hear my mom and think I was talking about her and then she'd really go off. "I would have taken care of it," my mom said. Um, yeah, sure you would, mom.

Pretty woman walking down the street

I enjoy reality TV. I particularly like documentaries about real people. I'm not talking about Biography on A&E. I'm more along the lines of True Life on MTV and Intervention. Watching a number of these shows, and Dr. Phil, I've observed several young women selling themselves on the street for drugs. They often are excited by a mere $35 and I think, girl, you're selling yourself short, but then again they're desperate. This begs the question...

How much would I sell my body for?

I'm not considering taking up a life of prostitution. I'm just saying, desperate times call for desperate measures, but also, a girl has got to have some standards. So, where is the line?

I'm not a knock out, but I don't have meth mouth, so that's got to count for something right? So, all things aside, I'm in a predicament, I need some money-BAD, but I'm not so desperate that I'll sell it all for 35 bucks. I posed this question to a few friends while I was on holiday last week and then again today at work.

One friend couldn't come up with a number for the whole shebang, so she said $5,000 for well...you get what I'm saying, right? She was surpised by my shocked look. I thought it was a bit high.

A guy I work with said he'd give it up for $1,500-2,000 because he thought that's how desperate he'd have to be to do that. I thought, wow, if he had my student loans he'd be working the corner right now. I later learned he was picturing a mafia situation that involved slit wrists and busted kneecaps if he didn't have the cash in 30 minutes. I told him he'd probably have to go longer than 30 minutes to get that much money.

So, what's my asking price? $250. I don't think this is unreasonable. I think this is a point where my desperation and my standards cross. What's your price?

Ugly Betty

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like you look like someone just threw up on you? That's how I feel today. I was on-call last night, so I had to choose today's clothes yesterday and I made a bad choice. The contrast between my white sweater and my brown pants is too stark and the textures don't flow. It's not cute and now I'm stuck. Poot.

I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I Am!

They made me switch to the new blogger. I am not happy about it. I barely have time to post let alone time to learn about all of the new and exciting features. I resisted the effort for quite some time. This morning I thought I had fooled them, I clicked sign in using my old account, and I was redirected and forced to move.

I will continue to resist. You can make me move, but you can't make me be happy about it!

mo money mo problems

It's Thursday night, but really it's Friday night for me because I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Well, I do, but someone else's work, not my work, so that's almost like Friday. Confused yet?

You know where I am on this Friday that isn't really Friday? No, I'm not watching The Office (because it really is Thursday)--I am taping it though, at least I'm praying it's taping, and yes, I'm serious about the praying part. It's The Office, there is no room for error. On this non Friday I am here at the hospital library. You know what this cool girl is doing in the library? Banking.

That's right, I'm attempting to balance my check book. My fiance thinks this is utter insanity because I do, in fact, have online banking through my bank. But, I still balance. I save all of my little receipts and then I go through and enter them into my check book. Sometimes I enter them as I charge them, sometimes I save them in a little pile. But, I always enter them.

Last time I was entering Freddie asked me if he could see my check book. "I'm not going to look at the balance", he said. [Good thing because although we are joining our lives in 4 and a half short months, I would not want him to have a clue how much money I don't have. (Truth be told, I was a little nervous he'd notice that Target appears three times in a row on more than one occasion!)] "I just want to see what you've got going here." As in, what is this archaeic ritual all about? He was amazed at my handiwork. It is quite impressive. I've been burning through the registers since I've gotten a real life grown up job and especially since I DO NOT EVER have cash on hand...so there is much to balance. But, lately things haven't actually been balancing. I suppose it could be worse because what's actually happening is I've been finding that I have MORE money than my bank thinks I have. (yes, this is actually a real problem.)

I think I've been adding things in when I spend them, then sometimes adding them again in the receipt pile. Although I do have a system that involves putting a little check on the receipts I've recorded and tucking them nicely in the back, sometimes errors do happen. Or, more often, I will cross reference this check register with the online banking and discover that I have...GASP...missed something. Only much later I realize that I didn't actually miss it, but I recorded the gas purchase as "Kangaroo" when they actually prefer to go by their gas brand name, or vice versa. It's all very confusing and so I charge myself twice. Or, I'll go ahead and deduct the money before I've gotten a chance to pay the bill online, and then I'll deduct it when I do. So, now I've got no clue how much money I actually have...because I don't trust the bank. And, I have every intention of teaching my children to do the same. (While this is a crazy thing usually associated with individuals who prefer the first national bank of Serta aka, stuff it in the mattress FDIC--I have actually witnessed a bank mistake involving someone else's debit card getting routed to my account and taking my money. It was all returned, but this is why I check.) I could wait a bit and see what the total says and hope that everyone has cashed checks I've written, or things have cleared. But, I'm always afraid I'll get tricked and end up in what with what I learned in 9th grade econ to fear with my life, A BOUNCED CHECK!!!!

So that's why I'm here. In the library. On fake Friday. Check book in one hand, calculator pulled up on the screen, paper in the other hand trying to compare and take notes. I printed off the screen from the online banking, but it was too wide, so only the first numbers appeared, so now I'm going through 11 pages of transactions and filling in the totals, so I can work on this at home, while I watch have a date with my boyfriend, Jim. Oh, and the bank has implemented this new security system for online banking that involves three screens before I can even get into my account. First I must enter my account number and the coded image. Then, I must answer the security question, then I must enter my password, but only if I see the secret word I provided printed underneath the box. It's crazy. And, if you take 25 seconds too long you have to start all over. AND, you have to sign in all over again if you don't do anything on the screen for more than 5 minutes, except there is nothing to do on the screen to let the computer know you're still there...just looking. ARGHHH! Maybe I'll reconsider this mattress idea.

Oh yeah, I would like to point out that fiance didn't find my checkbook balancing so appalling when he bounced a check buying sardines and saltines at a gas station in college. Back then I was a wise and responsible sage.

every step you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you

I went home a few weekends ago to see Rent with my mom and my betrothed. It was fantabulous as always. The music moved and the story line shook me to my core, but the real excitement happened on Sunday-at the mall.

Deciding that it was time to actually wear the new shoes I got for Christmas, but needing to trade sizes first, we headed to Nordstrom at South Park for a little exchangaroo. South Park has gotten considerably high end since the days of the Christmas Carousel and the pet store, so we also decided to peruse a few other shops while Freddie sat idly buy watching a fountain.

As usual, I wandered off while we were in Anthropologie and my mom had to come looking for me. She seemed incredibly irritated, which surprised me because after 27 years you'd really think she'd be used to this by now, but also because, really mom, it's not that big of a store. When I called her name to show her this adorable tulip skirt, she kind of snipped at me. Afraid she'd cause a little scene, I decided to abandon my efforts on the skirt and went to her side.

Looking toward the door, she quickly and gruffly said, GIVEMEYOURSTUFFTHAT'SANDIEMACDOWELL!!! It took me a minute, but then I realized she was talking about her...



Often distinguished by her curly mane, Mom also recognized her voice and her hunch was confirmed when the clerk said, Thanks, Andie!

So, I tossed my stuff to mom, and, of course, followed her out the door to confirm. She headed into a very fancy shoe store, which I could only pretend for about 5 minutes I could shop in, but it was in fact her.

This is not that unusual. Andie is actually spotted quite frequently in the area. I went to school with her niece. She has family in the area. But, it was our first Andie sighting, so we were excited.

When we returned to the check out, the girls were chatting..."She's not that nice." "No," the other girl said "she's not." The first girl replied, "she actually kind of scared me a little."

As we exited the store, we saw her rejoin her party, 3 teenagers, and spent about ten minutes following them around the mall. We watched from afar, which is what polite stalkers do. After leaving the shoe store, she stopped in Burberry. But, the best part was when she was chatting with her children in a central area outside of Neiman Marcus and a screaming girl came running toward her. You could see Andie's face flash with a look of annoyed desperation, "oh, the misery of fame. Can't I go out and spend a thousands of dollars without anyone bothering me for autographs?", but her look of desperation turned to shock, when the girl stopped abruptly 10 feet in front of her, she had just recognized her friend from across the mall and had to rave about the sale at Urban Outfitters! HA! Because the thing is, Andie actually seemed to walk through the mall virtually unnoticed. I wander if that actually upset her more than the previous scene. Perhaps we stalkers should have identified ourselves. It's rough being a forty something mom in the world where shoeless Britney and too tiny dogooder Angelina get all the credit. A woman needs to be fawned over every once in a while. If you're reading this, Andie, we realy did think you looked pretty good. I guess that L'Oreal stuff really works.

To The Left, To The Left

Fame really goes to some people's heads. I used to know this sweet, casual, fun guy who was proud of his work and always put a smile on my face. But, lately he just kind of seems like a skeez...and I mean that in the nicest sense of the word, because I can tell that, at heart, he's really the same guy. It's just that everytime I see him lately, he looks so slimy. He's trying to go for this slick look, when the fun casual thing really suited him. Come on, Mac, don't sell out. We loved you just the way you were.

because most of you don't know me in real life

The last thirty minutes has been rather rushed. I have a weekly Tuesday meeting at 11 and I had to stop in to visit the potty beforehand AND go print something off in the computer lab before the meeting then drop it off in my supervisor's mailbox on the OTHER side of the hospital then rush to the meeting. I have an irresistable addiction to an evergrowing list of internet sites that I ABSOLUTELYMUSTVISITEVERYTIMEIAMANYWHERENEARACOMPUTER-the obsession is maddening, so of course I feed it every chance I get. This is why I do not have high speed at my house. I fed the addiction and then realized I was running a wee bit late.

As I mentioned I've been dieting. The particular black pants I'm wearing today used to be kind of loose. A woman I worked with always felt the need to come over and yank them up when I was leaning over to write something...apparently my big girl panties were showing...this is why I don't often wear a thong to work...I did start to always wear black underwear with them though so no one would notice. Only recently I noticed they weren't showing so much, what had once been to big was now just the right size. This was perhaps the result of washing and drying them myself, but maybe also partly the result of my love for all things carbohydrate.

As I rushed down the handicap ramp, everyone needs a little fun in their life, I reached back to inspect what I was bearing to the world...the pants are getting a bit looser again (I'm still convinced they have at least shrunk some...it's not all me...it's really not)..anyway when I reached back I felt something abrasive...what could this be? Perhaps my tag was sticking out, but no, it was much larger than that. As I reached around, it continued to go on and on for what seemed like forever when it dawned on me...OHMYGOD...this is toilet paper!!!!!!! Apparently, when I had pulled up my britches from the previous visit to the potty, I had also pulled up the toilet paper lining the seat and created a new fashion statement--the White Cloud tail...like a bustle for your everyday wear.

I quickly shoved the bustle further into my pants, making my booty look just a little more supple, and rushed toward the door. What else was I going to do? If I pulled it out someone might see.

When I reached the exit, in an instant, I flashed back to the moment when I walked into the library and made eye contact with the doctor who runs the 11:00 meeting. He gave me kind of a strange look...I thought it was one of those, I know you, but you're not where I usually see you, so you cannot possibly be the same person faces, but now I think he may have been reacting to the bustle. I suddenly remembered one more thing I could not possibly put off, I did make a promise you my loyal readers after all, and I cannot possibly attend the 11:00 team meeting.

yeah, yeah, yeah...I know..I know

Do you remember the part of my new years resolution post where I mentioned that sometimes I got behind on the book reading and I'd read two books the next month? Cut me some slack. I'm busy, and stressed, and getting married soon. I'm a little overwhelmed right now. Now, can we move on to another subject?

I've been dieting. 3 weeks now. I've lost 7 pounds. Yesterday I started the exercise routine. Slow and steady wins the race.

the end.

ooh ooh I've got a crush on you.

I have the best boyfriend. I've written about him before. He's cute, but not in a way that's intimidating, he's kind, pretty smart, and always keeps me laughing.
He's surprised me twice recently. I haven't been to the movies in forever. I went to see The Holiday on New Year's weekend in Greensboro. I had bought several cheap movie coupons from work and had to use them by the end of the year, but that plan was foiled when I got into the movie for free because the heat was broken. The movie was good enough...though I struggled to maintain my disdain for Jude Law as scummy as he is because he's so cute and charming in this movie and he's a good dad to boot! Anyway, I was sitting there minding my own business, feeling sorry for old Cam and her recent break up (little did I know poor Cam was going through boy troubles in her real life too) while watching her drown her sorrows by plunging herself into her work, when he showed up. My sweet Jim.
Last weekend I visited mom in Charlotte and we decided to go to Phillips place to see Dreamgirls. As I found myself swept away by the musical stylings of Jennifer, Beyonce, Eddie, and Jamie, he caught me off guard once again and there he was, smiling down at me.
He's been doing this a lot lately, my boyfriend. He surprised me about a month ago while I was watching Jarhead. Our surprise visits are never for very long. Like many girlfriends, I get a little jealous when other girls have their eyes on him, so I appreciate having him to myself most of the time. I don't need him out on the town parading his body and his good will toward men like Brad. But, it is nice to show him off every once in a while. Thanks, Jim, for always making me smile. I'll see you Thursday.

A new year=a new me.

Wake Forest University always has a year of something, like the year of science, or the year of religion, or the year of conservative rich kids. For me, this is the year of the blog. I could do something heavier, but really, why would I do that? Life is already stressful enough what with The Office, The OC, and Grey's Anatomy all coming on in virtually the same time slot. So, I'm dedicating this year to you, my loyal reader, yes, I mean you random friend who found me today, if that means you'll keep reading and respond sometimes (but only if you're nice--you'll notice no ads, I'm not getting paid for my genius.)

I'm pretty good at New Year's resolutions, well really I'm pretty good at guilt, so I follow the resolution, so I don't feel guilty. I'm awesome at Lent, 40 days I can handle-and I don't skip weekends!, but the year is a little more tough. Last year was Weight Watchers, and I did a good job until April and a bachelorette party where my "friends" chided me for counting points in a brownie and I never counted again--I'm also good at peer pressure. The most successful I've been with the NYR is when I committed to reading one book a month. I know it's not that hard, but you should see my schedule, and my netflix queue. I started with The Red Tent, which was good, but not a good first choice, because it was long and detailed and I didn't think of my brilliant idea til the end of the month. I probably should have gone with People that first month, but I read it into February and then picked up another before the 28th. I was sucessful all year, sometimes I read more, but I don't like to brag about my readin' skills.

So, this year I vow to blog once a week. I don't want to overshoot and let us all down, so I'm starting modestly. My counselor says you should vow to do anything you can't accomplish in one day. So, if you want to lose weight you should vow to eat healthy each day. So, I'll vow to procrastinate every day until the day when I don't and then I'll write. Problem solved.

Since this is a weekly blog, and I'm still torn up over the demise of The OC and can't think straight. I think this week, I'll just talk about the first week of the rest of my life.

I accomplished three big things this week.

1-I got my Association of Professional Chaplains application in the mail today. I made the lady stamp it in front of me to make sure she didn't pull a fast one and change the post mark so they tossed it. The thing was massive...41 pages single spaced of my own writing, duplicated, so 82 pages, plus another 30 or so pages of recommedations and evaluations of my work along with other forms, also duplicated, making a grand total of 140 or so pages of paperwork, and a fat check. Now, I just have to survive the interview this summer and pray it's not while I'm on the honeymoon.

2-After interviewing 5 photographers and reviewing pages and pages and pages of not quite right, I FINALLY booked my wedding photographer. It was a New Years miracle that mom had a friend of a friend who knew of this woman who doesn't advertise-she only works by referral, but does FAB and Beautiful work and all for a decent price--for the QC. You should check her out www.elissaqueen.com. Is it wrong that I'm secretly, or not so secretly since I just posted it on the internet, hoping that she'll put me on her website (see above-Jessica Simpson workout)

3-I kind of wanted to put number 3 as number one, because it's that cool to me, but that would make me sound vain. I bought my first designer purse. It's not a really fancy one like an LV or Prada, just a coach, but it's lovely. My grandmother always manages to get me the world's most heinous birthday gifts, so just to spite her I bought myself something amazing with her Christmas check. The prices weren't as low as I thought, I trusted my soon to be cousin inlaw and hoped to get a larger bag for what I paid, but my bag was marked down because of the outlet, then on clearance, then on sale. It's a small suede mocha colored bag and I LOVE IT. I couldn't decide at first, was it worth the price? But, when I put it on my shoulder I felt so important. It made me want to trapse my fat booty all over the ritzy mall in Charlotte. So, I bought it! This is by far the most exciting piece of 2007 so far. It makes me feel fabulous. If I'd known that money could buy you happiness, I would have splurged on myself a long time ago. Curses to you, LIARS!

can someone tell me why...

When I was looking for christmas list ideas on Oldnavy.com and I clicked women's clothing and then see all, this picture appeared?





I'm almost certain this dog is not a woman. This is definitely not a woman's jacket. I think they're using it to cover up his masculinity and I bet when he modeled this coat, he did not know he would be misrepresented as a woman. I think he should call the ACLU. He's definitely got a case. Meanwhile, why don't they sell this coat in Freddie's size? I think he'd look cute.

One more reason I know I'm marrying the right man.

I fell down on the way into work yesterday. I was wearing my brown knee boots. Or my FMBs as many people like to call them, except the heels are low, so I don't think they encourage Fing as much as hand holding or something equally innocent. Anywho, they're very slick. I've slipped and slid a few times before in these shoes. I actually had a little sliding action going on on the front porch before I even left the house, but thought it was because of the dew. They're just naturally slick shoes, but they're cute and look especially cute with my little plaid skirt, so I suffered for the cause.

Evelyn and I had just won a challenging round of Frogger trying to dodge traffic in order to make it in to work and thought we had come out of it victorious when I went down. I stepped out with my right foot, but heel did not catch as heels are supposed to and instead kept right on going in a rather lovely "Bring It On" kind of move. The left leg didn't feel like doing the splits yesterday though and instead just dropped to the knee. Evelyn, also demonstrating why we are friends, kept right on walking. Another woman exclaimed some kind of concerned statement and I quickly collected myself and got right back up, so as to avoid any further embarassment.

When I told this story to Freddie, after checking in to be sure I was okay. The first thing he asked was, "was anyone around? Did anyone see?" I answered and he said, well that's a good thing. You could have fallen right in front of Dr McSteamy.

I'm bringing sexy back

I found this ad posted coincidentally on a website that mocks celebrity fashion. Over the picture was the title "Think Outside The Mall." You know what, if this is what is to be found outside of the mall I'm going to have to say, thanks, but no thanks.

Is it wrong...

that this made me cry?

I'm sorry, Jim

Do you have a tv boyfriend? My mom and I were talking about this last weekend. Someone on her morning radio show was talking about her TV boyfriend, when mom was telling me this story, I instantly knew who my tv boyfriend was (and still is). Jim Halpert. I love Jim. You see Jim and I met about 2 and a half years ago when I was living in Richmond and he was living in Scranton. I knew him before anyone else did. Well, I'm sure someone else did, but no one who really mattered. I'd heard a little bit about him while I was hanging out with my other Friends, Rachael, Monica, Chandler, Joey, Ross, and Rachel (who have since left me, but we still have many fond memories of our years together). I decided to check him out and I was instantly impressed. It seemed we shared a chemistry I had not experienced before. At first I was embarassed to be the only one laughing at our jokes, but I got over that pretty quickly. I found myself trying to tell one little story about him to my friend, Trey, only to ramble on for 30 minutes about everything we'd shared the night before. It was amazing. Jim has it all. He's cute, but not in an intimidating way, he's kind, he's smart, he's funny...Jim is so dreamy. We've really been through a lot together. We've both moved and changed jobs, we've had ups and downs in our personal lives. We've gotten quite close.

Last night, I spent some time with Jim. It was a big day for him. He moved back to Scranton and I was wondering if he was finally going to work things out with this girl, Pam. (They've had some trouble lately.) I know Jim is just my tv boyfriend, he's not my real boyfriend, but my feelings for him are real...stop laughing, I'm serious, they really are. So, I was pretty upset last night when things didn't work out as I hoped they would. The chemistry was still there, but Jim and Pam could not work it out. As I sat on the bed watching in pain, unable to do anything to help, I heard Jim tell Pam that he was kind of seeing someone else and I heard myself shout, "YOU ASS HOLE!!!! SHE LIKES YOU!!!!"

So, I'm sorry Jim. I know you're doing the best you can. But, we really do need to sit down and have a heart to heart. I'm afraid we've both got our priorities mixed up...I'm wondering if we need some space...but, I cannot resist your eyes.

I'm famous.

I found some new friends online, which is good because I have a hard time finding friends in person, but the doctor assures me that the smell will go away soon. Unfortunately, I'll be contagious for a while longer. But, I digress...

These girls are cool and they like me. Well, they like me enough to put my name in a post...that's the same thing, right? Seriously, you should check them out...it's good stuff. Of course, to know that you'd first have to check me out. Oh well, sorry Melissa and Lindsay.